Saturday, October 02, 2004

To look life in the face, always to look life in the face...

"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" did not disappoint. It was just as fabulous as I remembered, and upon second viewing I found portions of the movie much more poignant. There are certain moments, specific lines, that cut to my core...open my eyes...make me understand the human condition, the human heart. Oscar Wilde once wrote, "Life imitates art far more than art imitates life." In the case of this film, I would say art imitates life so finely, so intelligently.

Watching the move last night made me think about two completely disjointed ideas. I will attempt to explain them the best I can. They may make no sense.

1. What if deja vu is really erased memories? Now, when I was watching the movie last night, I tried to put myself in a world where the process of erasing memories is a possibility. Or, really...what if, in our world, erasing memories is a possibility, but we don't recall erasing them because we have gotten rid of all evidence, and letters have been sent to those close to us, telling them not to mention the details of our past, erased, memories? This is where the concept of deja vu comes in. I will create a scene where you can see how this would go into effect. Okay, so say I erased a relationship I had that ended messily and left me a total wreck. I went in, had the procedure done, got rid of any little trinkets left behind, and everyone in my life had been made aware of this erasure. One night I am sitting in the library studying and I notice someone sitting at a table across the room. We catch each other staring. We meet. We hit it off. A few months later we are dating and holding hands, sitting at Sonic ordering when suddenly, it all feels familiar. The drink orders, the music, the positioning of the hands. Deja vu, right? What if it wasn't? What if you had been in that exact situation before with the same person but in looking back at it after the break-up it had caused you so much pain you had had it erased? What if deja vu is really moments we have already experienced, but we have consciously (or maybe even subconsciously) erased. Far-fetched, yes...but an interesting idea I think. I also find that I have deja vu with the same people. Coincidence? You think about it.

2- Would we still find and love the same people? In the movie, true love transcends all obstacles, perseveres through all trials. Even though Clementine had erased Joel, she felt incomplete without him. Even though she didn't remember ever being with him, it seemed like there was a void in her heart after the procedure that only Joel could fill. The same thing happens to Joel. He realizes, during the process, that he doesn't want to wipe his memories of her out because they were so precious to him. Even with the process complete, he is still searching for her, though he doesn't even know who she is. The second example is of Mary and
Dr. Howard Mierzwiak. They had had a relationship and she needed to have it erased from her memory because of the dire consequences for both he and his family, and her. The process was completed, but she still fell into the same patterns. Like in my example of deja vu above, the ex-couple met back up again, despite forgetting their previous relationship, and fell in love. I guess, to sum up this rambling, my question is: Even if there are barriers, and I can't imagine a greater barrier than blocking someone out completely, would we still find the same people to love and have love us? What if there is a magnet of the heart, I suppose? Something that would keep drawing us back and keep drawing us back despite the history or consequences, because this person's love is a necessity. As Barbra Streisand sings in "The Way We Were":

Can it be that it was all so simple then

or has time rewritten every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again,
tell me would we, could we?

I think maybe we are destined to make the same mistakes, so to Barbra I would say "yes". I really think
there is something more than our minds at work, drawing us to certain people; I think it is our hearts.
Our hearts discern familiarity in each other. This is how it is possible to feel at home with people
you may have only known for a few hours. This is how peace comes in moments shared with friends. There is a
magnet of the heart that can't be ignored. I think, if my memory was erased, I would have still found the
ones my heart can't ignore. I truly believe this.

My favorite lines from "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind":

Clementine: This is it Joel, it's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.
(I don't know why, but these lines really get to me. They know that in just a few minutes they will no longer
remember each other or have these truly wonderful memories of their love, but instead of trying to hold on
to them for dear life, they just go with it and enjoy their last moments together.)

Clementine: Can I borrow a piece of your chicken?
Joel: And then you just took it, without even waiting for an answer. It was so intimate.
(I love this scene as well, because I guess it's something I long for. That closeness. That intimacy. It is a truly
simple, touching, beautiful moment in the movie.)


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