When I was a child I played several sports: basketball, soccer, softball. These, of course, are all team sports and it just so happens that I was always on the worst team. But being on the worst team never held my spirit back. Our record could be 0-8 and I could still be found practicing in the backyard every night, putting forth my best effort at practice, and having hope at the games when batter after batter was struck out and every ball that was hit to the outfield was fumbled or just completely missed. It was the love of the game and the desire to work on something and become better. The feeling of working hard, even through the losing streaks, and coming out on top...being a winner.
I can remember going home after games in tears and my mother telling me, Melia...it doesn't matter how hard you work. If the other players on your team don't care or don't put forth the effort that you do, you're never going to win. You can be the best player in the world, but unless your team works together you are going to lose every time. You can't expect to single-handedly hold up an entire team.
My mother's words span across many areas in life, not just team sports. Let's take relationships for instance. You can be in a relationship for all the right reasons...to have fun, to work as a team, because you have that desire and love for a person. You can give 100% day in and day out...putting forth all the effort you can muster. You can work hard, through any issues, and try to come out on top. You can be loyal and driven. You can have faith and hope and all of the elements of perseverance. But, unless the other person on your "team" is willing to put forth the same kind of effort, it's a lost cause. It doesn't matter how hard you work or how much hope or faith you have. You can be the best version of yourself, but unless that desire is returned...unless together you can attempt to muddle through any rough patches with the knowledge that your "team" will come out on top, you're never going to win.
I was never very good at accepting that fact about team sports. That's why I switched to tennis.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Just a passing moment gone...
White Daisy Passsing by Rocky Votolato
Please slow it down.
There's a secret magic past world
that you only notice when you're looking back at it.
All I wanna do is turn around.
I'm going down to sleep on the bottom of the ocean
because I couldn't let go when the water hit the setting sun.
Passing white daisies taking turns,
close the door walk into the street
catching raindrops on your tongue.
And for a minute it all stops.
But it won't last long, just a passing moment gone.
Please slow it down.
There's a secret place that I know
where I could dig a grave out and climb underground for good.
All I want to do is turn around.
I'm going down to sleep on the bottom of the ocean
because I couldn't let go when the water hit the setting sun.
Passing white daisies taking turns,
all those evenings on the back deck of our first apartment.
They meant everything but the wind just carried them off.
And you can't go back now, just a passing moment gone.
Please slow it down.
There’s a secret magic past world
that you only notice when you’re looking back at it.
And all I wanna do is turn around.
I'm going down to sleep on the bottom of the ocean
because I couldn’t let go of the water at the setting sun.
Because I couldn’t let go of the passing moment gone.
Please slow it down.
There's a secret magic past world
that you only notice when you're looking back at it.
All I wanna do is turn around.
I'm going down to sleep on the bottom of the ocean
because I couldn't let go when the water hit the setting sun.
Passing white daisies taking turns,
close the door walk into the street
catching raindrops on your tongue.
And for a minute it all stops.
But it won't last long, just a passing moment gone.
Please slow it down.
There's a secret place that I know
where I could dig a grave out and climb underground for good.
All I want to do is turn around.
I'm going down to sleep on the bottom of the ocean
because I couldn't let go when the water hit the setting sun.
Passing white daisies taking turns,
all those evenings on the back deck of our first apartment.
They meant everything but the wind just carried them off.
And you can't go back now, just a passing moment gone.
Please slow it down.
There’s a secret magic past world
that you only notice when you’re looking back at it.
And all I wanna do is turn around.
I'm going down to sleep on the bottom of the ocean
because I couldn’t let go of the water at the setting sun.
Because I couldn’t let go of the passing moment gone.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
This blog has been abandoned...
Or so you thought. I know it’s been a while. So long, in fact, that I was probably removed from you RSS feeds this time last year and since then these scrawlings have become just another distant memory…a “remember when” type of thing.
Well, I am trying to repair and rebuild. Little by little…blog by blog…filling in the cracks of a foundation that is several years old and has been neglected, like one of those condemned houses you see along a Texas highway. I don’t want this to be one of those houses.
I hope you follow that metaphor, because I almost just completely lost it and began writing about my infatuation with home repair/flipping shows. But, I will press on.
I am here. I have always been here, just not here…you know? But now I am back and ready to attempt to write something. Just to put thoughts, ideas, lyrics, and everyday observations down on a clean sheet of cyberpaper. I am hoping it will be therapeutic…give me something to look forward to. A tiny creative outlet, perhaps.
So before I begin in the present and move forward, I feel as though I should give you a bit of insight into the past. And what I mean by “past” is the last year or so. Let’s see…the last time I posted anything was on May 25, 2006, which I believe was a Thursday. That day I woke up sometime in the morning and sat on the couch in my pajamas looking a little out of sorts for at least a half hour. For lunch I had a sandwich, which I think was probably pretty delicious. I am guessing turkey, a little mayo. At some point I put on clothes and I did some stuff. I probably had some reasons for doing that stuff. And I know for a fact that I drank more than one Diet Coke as the day progressed. Later in the day I began thinking about dinner. At this point I would put money on the fact that Ashley and I drove (we did not walk because we are just that lazy) to Pei Wei and ordered food that we took back to the apartment and ate. It was probably pretty delicious too. Then I probably did some more stuff, which most likely included the Internet, a television, and some laughter here and there. And finally, I went to bed.
Now imagine what I have just written…with slight variations, and then fast forward 398 days and here we are. I am glad you’re here to peek in upon a hodgepodge of snippets from life, pop culture, and conversations I hear in my cubicle at work. Albeit at times mundane, I hope it proves to be a place of ideas, humor, and those random tidbits that do not fit anywhere else.
Well, I am trying to repair and rebuild. Little by little…blog by blog…filling in the cracks of a foundation that is several years old and has been neglected, like one of those condemned houses you see along a Texas highway. I don’t want this to be one of those houses.
I hope you follow that metaphor, because I almost just completely lost it and began writing about my infatuation with home repair/flipping shows. But, I will press on.
I am here. I have always been here, just not here…you know? But now I am back and ready to attempt to write something. Just to put thoughts, ideas, lyrics, and everyday observations down on a clean sheet of cyberpaper. I am hoping it will be therapeutic…give me something to look forward to. A tiny creative outlet, perhaps.
So before I begin in the present and move forward, I feel as though I should give you a bit of insight into the past. And what I mean by “past” is the last year or so. Let’s see…the last time I posted anything was on May 25, 2006, which I believe was a Thursday. That day I woke up sometime in the morning and sat on the couch in my pajamas looking a little out of sorts for at least a half hour. For lunch I had a sandwich, which I think was probably pretty delicious. I am guessing turkey, a little mayo. At some point I put on clothes and I did some stuff. I probably had some reasons for doing that stuff. And I know for a fact that I drank more than one Diet Coke as the day progressed. Later in the day I began thinking about dinner. At this point I would put money on the fact that Ashley and I drove (we did not walk because we are just that lazy) to Pei Wei and ordered food that we took back to the apartment and ate. It was probably pretty delicious too. Then I probably did some more stuff, which most likely included the Internet, a television, and some laughter here and there. And finally, I went to bed.
Now imagine what I have just written…with slight variations, and then fast forward 398 days and here we are. I am glad you’re here to peek in upon a hodgepodge of snippets from life, pop culture, and conversations I hear in my cubicle at work. Albeit at times mundane, I hope it proves to be a place of ideas, humor, and those random tidbits that do not fit anywhere else.
Monday, June 25, 2007
A Bedtime Prayer...
MY LORD GOD,
I have no idea where I am going. I do not see
the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will
end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am
following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please
you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope
that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know
that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may
know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though
I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not
fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to
face my perils alone.
Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton (1915—1968)
I have no idea where I am going. I do not see
the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will
end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am
following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please
you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope
that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know
that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may
know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though
I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not
fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to
face my perils alone.
Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton (1915—1968)
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