I'm gonna drink good wine in vineyards and get asked to dance...

I am sitting here at work, completely soaked, and it's freezing cold in here. I am so thankful for my friend Rachel who drove me out to my car because I would have had to walk half a mile barefoot with my pants rolled up in the pouring rain. I am sure that would have been a sight. I wish that I wasn't at work right now and that I had worn something different, because, as I am watching the dark clouds roll by through the window outside the computer lab door, I really want to go out walking in the rain. I may do that after work. Just roll up my pants, shove my shoes in my back pack and go. I may also catch pneumonia. Maybe I should weigh the options.

Speaking of getting up and going, that's exactly what I want to do. I have the deepest desire to get up early one morning, fill up my car with gas, grab some good music, an overnight bag, my journal, my camera, my cell phone and just-- go. I have nowhere specific in mind. I have no real plan. I don't really care about missing work or school. I just want to get behind the wheel and drive until I get tired of driving, until I run out of thoughts (or gas), until I feel like I have ended up in the right place. Wherever I end up, I will spend the night and the next full day or two or three and then drive back. I want to just go and be and though I think I would want to be alone, it might be nice to have someone I care about there with me, to build memories of the time when we let go of all inhibitions and responsibilities and just went. I am sure I will set out alone on one of the nights where insomnia gets the best of me. I will drive; I will pull over and take photographs; I will sit and write in some small cafe with horrible coffee but a quaint, down home ambiance; I will try new things and meet new people; it will be great! If ever I go missing, know that I am out driving...somewhere. I am thinking of heading north. I am sure I will be back in a few days.

This desire reminds me of a song by Rosie Thomas called "Wedding Day":

So much for love, I guess I've been wrong
but it's all right, 'cause I'm moving on.
I've got my car all packed with cassette tapes
and sweaters and loose change and cheap cigarettes.
I'm gonna drive thru the hills with my hand out
the window and sing till I run out of words.
I'm gonna stop at every truck stop, make small talk with waiters
and truck driving men.
I'm gonna fall asleep in the back seat with no one around but me and my friends.
It's gonna be so grand
It's gonna be just like my wedding day.

Yeah, I've had enough of love, it feels good to give up
some good to be good to myself.
I'm gonna get on the highway with no destination
and plenty of visions in mind.
I'm gonna drive to the ocean, go skinny dipping,
blow kisses to Venus and Mars.
I'm gonna stop at every bar and flirt the cowboys in front their girlfriends.
It's gonna be so grand
It's gonna be just like my wedding day.

So much for love, I guess I've been wrong
but it's all right 'cause I'm moving on.
I'm gonna drive over hills, over mountains, and canyons,
and boys that keep bringing' me down.
I'm gonna drive under skyline and sunshine, drink good wine in vineyards
and get asked to dance.
I'm gonna be carefree and let nothing pass me by, never ever again.
It's gonna be so grand
It's gonna be so grand
It's gonna be just like my wedding day.