Waiting for the moon to come and light me up...

Goodnight LA-- Counting Crows

I said, "Goodnight LA",
'cause I’m awake in my room.
I’ve been up for 38 hours
and it don’t look like sleep’s coming soon.
'Cause I could break like a bird,
or I could swallow the sea.
It seems like the daylight is coming
and no one is watching but me.
But I don’t mind the dark,
discovering the day,
'cause the night is a beautiful bright blue and gray.

What brings me down now is love,
'cause I can never get enough.
And what brings me down now is love,
'cause I can never get enough of your love.

And it’s a dangerous time
for a heart on a wire,
shuttled from station to station
noisily not knowing why.
So I put my head on the ground,
and the sky is a wheel
spinning these days into things that I’ve lost,
but you can keep all the years.
But I don’t mind the days,
gone rolling away,
'cause all this sunlight feels warm on my face today.

But what brings me down now is love,
'cause I can never get enough.
What brings me down now is love,
'cause I can never get enough, never get enough.
Never get enough no, no.
Never get enough of your love.
I can never get enough of love.
What brings me, brings me down now is love,
'cause I can never get enough of love.
I can never get enough of your love.

Everything's falling, and I am included in that...

This weekend was incredible. Well, I say "weekend", but it really began on Wednesday. Wednesday night I spent time with Kim and Kris, because we knew Kim would be busy packing the next day for her big move to New York.

Thursday was incredible because I was able to sit around Kris' house all morning and relax while he was at work. I met Emily at La Madeline's for lunch, which was spectacular, and then headed to Bedford to pick up Danielle. By mid-afternoon I was getting more and more excited about the concert. Later that afternoon we picked Carrie up in Arlington and went back to Kris' to get ready for (drumroll please...) Rachael Yamagata.

Kris, Grant, Carrie, Danielle, and I went to eat at Campisi's before the concert, and it was awesome (as usual). After eating as quickly as we could, we drove to Deep Ellum. I was getting more excited by the minute...no, really.

Sidenote: I am not a very excitable person, so the fact that I am even voicing how excited I was means something.

Once in the Gypsy Tea Room we met up with Ashley, Toby, Shannon, and Katy, and stood around talking and drinking, waiting for Rachael to come out.

The first thing I heard was shouting and clapping, and then I turned to see her setting up on stage. There, live, was Rachael Yamagata. I don't know if you understand the feeling of excitement I am talking about. I hope that all of you do. When you listen to an album so often, and the lyrics really mean something to you, and then you get to see the singer/songwriter perform them live...nothing beats it.

She ended up singing several songs off of her EP, but the ones from her album included: Be Be Your Love, Paper Doll, and Worn Me Down. Excellent.

After the concert I went with Kim, Kris, Danielle, Marissa, Carrie, and Grant to the Velvet Hookah, where we celebrated Kim's departure the next day. (Sidenote: Kim, your hair looks awesome!)

The night of the concert was bittersweet...especially saying goodbye to Kim...but the rest of the weekend was great! Poker at Grant's, BBC's, taking photos at Nathan and Amber's wedding, and most of all...time with my best friends. Who can beat that?!

I will post photographs from the weekend sometime soon. There are several great ones of Rachael Yamagata, seeing as how I was somehow able to make a small path to the front of the stage long enough to get several good shots.

A piece of the conversation I heard while at the front of the stage:
Dumb girl 1: Who is this? ...Rebecca...?
Dumb girl 2: She reminds me of Michelle Branch.
Dumb girl 3: It's like...Rachael Yamaguchi?

Okay, this depressed and insulted me. These people had places on the front row and didn't even know what they were listening to. Sad, sad, sad. To girl 1- Look on the sign outside...or your ticket, seriously. Her name is right there, and it's not "Rebecca"! To girl 2- Michelle Branch?! Gag me. To girl 3- Kristi Yamaguchi is a freakin' ice skater, you moron.

I'm dying to know...

...do you like dreaming of things so impossible or only the practical or ever the wild or waiting through all your bad bad days just to end them with someone you care about? And do you like making out and long drives and brown eyes and girls that just don't quite fit in? Yeah, do you like them?

My name is Melia, and I am a compulsive surveyor...

Wait...I think a surveyor is something all together different. Ah, well. It sounds good.

I am in Dallas, relaxing, recovering from the Rachael Yamagata concert (AWESOME), and waiting for friends to get off work. I was going to take a nap, but I decided to do this instead. I think it's a disease. Someone puts up any sort of survey, and I feel compelled to do it. Thank you Carrie, for spurring on my compulsion.

Thirteen random things you like:
01) Rainstorms
02) Non-fiction
03) Nick-at-Nite
04) Going to see movies in the theater
05) London
06) Chuck Taylor's
07) Seeing my favorite singer/songwriters in concert
08) My down comforter
09) Cheeseburgers
10) Daisies
11) Poetry
12) John Frieda's Brilliant Brunette Shampoo
13) Carrie H. from 6am-8am specifically ("I'm trying to decide what bit me...it was either a gnat or a flea.")

Twelve movies:
01) You've Got Mail
02) Girl, Interrupted
03) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
04) Garden State
05) Hitch
06) Sleepless in Seattle
07) Closer
08) Steel Magnolias
09) Any Lifetime Movie of the Week (i.e. For the Love of Nancy)
10) Mr. and Mrs. Smith
11) When Harry Met Sally
12) Birth, totally. (see previous blog)

Ten things about me physically:
01) I'm 5'6
02) Dark brown eyes
03) Braces (but not for long)
04) Pink toenails
05) Tatoo-less
06) Scar on my chest (from surgery in 2002)
07) Lip gloss obsession
08) Brown hair that has become more auburn as the summer has progressed
09) Scrawled notes on the palm of my left hand
10) Right eyebrow that arches during moments of suspicion or intense sarcasm

Nine good friends (no particular order): Everyone should know that I hate this category because I want to list all of my close friends, but there is not enough room. Even though you may not be here, I know who you are and I love you.
01) Ashley
02) Kim/Kimmy
03) Danielle
04) Carrie
05) Grant
06) Emily
07) Rachel
08) Eric
09) Trevor

Eight favorite foods/drinks:
01) Diet Coke (with or without vanilla or Bacardi)
02) Grilled salmon
03) Caesar salad
04) Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza
05) Chocolate milk
06) Sandwiches
07) Chai lattes
08) Alfredo's burritos

Seven favorite bands/artists: (the second most difficult section)
01) Rachael Yamagata
02) Gavin Degraw
03) Core 47 or Ashley Anderson
04) The Killers
05) Damien Rice
06) Yeah Yeah Yeah's
07) Counting Crows

Six things that annoy you:
01) People who do not understand the concept behind "personal space"
02) Pathological liars
03) Whistling
04) People that interrupt noticeably and constantly
05) Stupidity
06) A traffic jam when you're already late... a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break...ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife...

Five things you touch everyday:
01) Toothbrush
02) Cell phone
03) Dakota the Amazing Miniature Schnauzer
04) Alarm clock
05) Lip gloss

Four TV shows you watch:
01) Friends
02) Sex and the City
03) The Soup
04) Inside the Actors Studio

Three things: Two facts and one lie (no particular order):
01) I got lost/turned around late one night while walking with Alicia in Ireland.
02) I was voted "most spirited" in high school.
03) I once scissor kicked Angela Lansbury.

Two things you hate:
01) Injustice
02) People that wear socks with sandals

One person you could spend the rest of your life with:
01) Myself. I am not sure anyone else could put up with my crap. Seriously.

Berry, berry, berry good...

As much as I love Coldstone Creamery, I think I may need to cut back.

Scott and I have discovered our new found loves...chocolate/Oreo malts, and we have frequented our local "creamery" twice this week. At this rate, I will put on 20 lbs. by mid-September. That would not be berry, berry, berry good. Maybe we should brainstorm and come up with a new found obsession...like running beside each other on treadmills at the local gym?!

After an insane day of swimming with the kiddos at the HSU pool and then handing back reasearch papers to my disgruntled students, I went to Coldstone with Scott. The malts beat the heat and, as always, Scott made the day seem a little less hectic and much more enjoyable.

After Coldstone, Scott dropped me off at Jason's Deli where I had a terrific dinner with Jason. I am so thankful that I finally got to catch up with him. I am also so thankful for the addition of a Jason's Deli in Abilene...the California Club never lets me down, and is well worth the ever-long line.

Tomorrow I close out my week of teaching. I gave my students a walk. At first I was all bummed--Man, I can't leave town...I have class--and then, about three seconds later, I realized that it is my class and if I have to miss I can just give them a walk. Power reversal...nice.

This weekend in the Metroplex will be bittersweet. Danielle is in town from Florida. Kim is flying out of DFW--headed for NYC. I will get to see Grant and Kris. I am taking photos at a wedding in Mt. Pleasant. It should be an awesome weekend, all in all. Any weekend that begins with seeing Rachael Yamagata in concert is a-okay in my book. Indeed.

I will write when I get back. I hope the weekend treats all of you well.

Crop circles in the carpet...

Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap

Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall--
crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.
When busy streets a mess with people would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
All those years, they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this,
still alive.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines. (Oh, you won't catch me around here.)
Blood and tears,
they were here first.

Mmm, what'd you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what'd you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Ah, of course it is.
Mmm, what'd you say?
Mm, that it’s just what we need? And you decided this.
Mmm what'd you say?
What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out of your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out of your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.

Weighing the surreal...

This weekend was terrific!

Core 47 was back and better than ever. The sound at the Backroom was phenomenal, as were the new songs added to the set list. I must say though, I enjoyed the impromptu version of "Hollaback Girl" the most. I am excited about their gig at the beginning of the month at Rackdaddy's, though I can only make it to the one on the 6th, so I will be missing the fifth. So sad. They will return to the Backroom on the 26th and 27th, so you should all come out; it's a great way to spend an evening!

Several things this weekend were surreal. Although, I am not sure which one takes the cake.

#1- After the concert on Friday night, Trevor, one of his friends, and I went to IHOP. Now, our waitress takes us to the back section where I hear, "Ms. McFarland. Hey, Ms. McFarland". At first I don't respond to it, because I am not used to being called that...ever. So, finally I look up to see several of the students from my freshman writing course at HSU. I walk over to them and B- says, "Hey, what are you doing out Ms. McFarland?" To which D- says, "Come on, she has a life", and B- replies with, "Oh yeah...I forgot. I thought you'd be home grading our papers." I told them I had not yet even touched their papers and I didn't plan on it until Sunday evening. But seriously, this was just flat-out weird. I'm not "Ms. McFarland"...am I? I feel too young. I still feel like a kid. A kid teaching kids the basics of writing. It just doesn't seem right. It made me feel old. It made me think things like...this is what the rest of my life will be like. I will be out in public and I will run into my students who are forced to greet me formally. That is scary. Hopefully it won't always be "Ms. McFarland"...who knows. I think I could handle "Mrs. Pitt", or "Mrs. McConaughey", or "Mrs. (insert attractive, intelligent, and motivated man's name here)".

#2- I went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Miles, Eric, and Trevor. After seeing the previews I was a little leary and a little creeped out, but it turned out to be an incredible film. Surreal, but incredible. Any scene with the Oompa-Loompas... the term "surreal" doesn't even begin to cut it.

#3- Trevor and I went to Red Lobster for dinner. We were waiting for a table when an older couple entered the restaurant. I didn't give them a second glance until...and this is no lie...the woman passed in front of me and she was pregnant. Yes, pregnant. She must have been...I don't know...50ish, and her husband resembled Bob Barker. Surreal...I tell you.

So anyway, that was my weekend. I am getting ready to go running, and tonight I will be grading research papers. Hopefully I will get to take a break to see Scott later this evening. Maybe we will add to the growing number of movies this month. I will now refer to July as the "Month of Movie Madness". Hmm...that's kind of gay. If you think of a better title, let me know.

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life...

Okay, so the other night I was waiting for Scott to come over and I got reeled into a movie that was on television. Oh, TNT...why do you have such an affect on me? Anyway, I did end up pulling myself away, but not before learning a vital lesson. I figured I would share it with you, as some of you may not get cable, so these life lessons would be lost forever.

Advice from movie #1 this week:
Always, always, always look through your peep hole. If you don't, you risk getting hit over the head unexpectedly by a snow globe and dying a painful and fairly bloody death. Eww.

Television and films teach us so much. I mean, really.

Okay, I have probably seen more movies this month than ever. I have already mentioned in previous posts the films I have seen in the theater. Last night, for the first time in a while, I rented a movie. Eric and I were having a conversation about Nicole Kidman and had the sudden urge to have a Kidman marathon, if you will. We began the short lived marathon with Birth--movie #2, and it stopped there. I have only seen a handful of movies that have had such an affect on me, and not a good one. It is one of the most awkward and uncomfortable and kind of sickening movies I have ever watched. Eric and I were curled up on furniture on opposite sides of the room and at several times during the film I would have my mouth covered and be repeating something like, "Oh no...no, no, no, no...oh...", and I would look over to see Eric doing the same thing. Seriously, awkward. The best way I can describe it is by using the train wreck scenario: What was on the screen was so awful, but out of sheer curiosity I couldn't turn it off. It intrigued me...for some morbid reason. Today, I woke up still not knowing what it is about...and all I can say is:

Dear Ms. Kidman:
Why? Please explain.
Love,
Melia

Okay, so this weekend should be exciting! Tonight the Core 47 is playing at the Backroom and I know quite a few people are going.

I better go home and eat dinner so I can get ready for the concert. I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend!

Because if Ashley jumped off a bridge...

so would I.

I am: a graduate student.
I am not: a belly-dancer.
I love: my family and friends.
I hate: ...you.
I fear: being misunderstood.
I hope: that I am living each day to the fullest.
I hear: that Tom Cruise was abducted by aliens who claimed to be scientologists from the future.
I crave: Alfredo's burritos (to an unhealthy extent).
I regret: not applying to other masters programs.
I cry: when I have OD'd on Lifetime.
I care: way too much.
I always: relate situations in life to episodes of Friends.
I believe: that God is not finished with me yet.
I feel alone: when I go a day without laughing.
I listen: only when the conversation appeals to me.
I hide: photographs of me from middle school.
I drive: when I need time alone to think.
I sing: in my car...like a maniac.
I dance: with my door shut.
I write: whenever I have something on my mind.
I play: Texas Hold'em.
I miss: Danielle.
I search: successfully, thanks to Google.
I learn: through working with 9-year-olds and 19-year-olds, that they are essentially the same in manners and maturity.
I feel: happier than I have in a long time.
I know: a plethora of useless trivia.
I say: things without completely thinking them through.
I succeed: because I'm awesome.
I dream: with such realism that I often have to consult my memory bank to see if a certain event actually occurred.
I want: to move somewhere exciting.
I have: the cutest dog ever.
I give: decent hugs.
I fell: while running up the stairs to my apartment.
I fight: a bright red punching bag.
I should: learn to let things go.
I will: get my braces off soon.
I can: ...because your mom said so.
I need: a vanilla Diet Coke.
I am: sleepy because of the rain.

Just do it again...

and this time with feeling.

First of all, I want to give my deepest thanks to one Miss Gwen Stefani. Thank you for teaching me how to spell bananas correctly. I don't how I made it 23 years without your assistance. Now I am no longer stumped when writing my many essays on produce. I just sit there, pen in hand, and sing, "This s*#% is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" I would be lost without you Gwen. Thanks.

Why, oh why is it so hot outside? Since I started my second job this week I can't go running in the mornings like I was, so I have been going up to the HSU track on weeknight evenings (who wants to work out during the weekend?!), and even between 7 and 8:30pm (give or take) it is still so hot. The HSU gym isn't open during the evenings this summer, and as of next week I am giving up my membership at Hendrick Health Club. I figured with the money I spend on the gym every year I could actually buy a new computer, accessories, etc. I will be making my purchase in a few weeks and will be saying goodbye to HHC forever. I love running outside (when it's not one-hundred bazillion degrees) and the HSU gym will be open in the evenings soon enough.

Carrie and I are heading to Dallas for the weekend, which should prove exciting! Kim is in Taming of the Shrew and tonight is opening night. I love Shakespeare in the Park; the production is great every year! I hope to see several other friends while I am there, but I will be back in the Metroplex the weekend of the 21st for Rachael Yamagata! Oh, yes.

By the way, if you haven't seen Bewitched you totally need to. I went last night and it was really cute. Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell are hilarious!

Alright, I am out. I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

War of the Worlds...

Best Part: Being there with Scott.
Worst Part: The movie.

It's the Fourth of July...

and I am spending it laying out by the pool preparing for my class tomorrow.

I want to say congratulations to Whitney and Josh! I can't wait to see the newest Kasinger in December. I am so happy for you! Whit, I was looking through photographs the other day and found one of us in fifth grade...Mrs. Casella's class. It is hard to believe that you will soon be having a kiddo of your own. I hope he/she is blessed with incredible friends (like you have been to me throughout the years), much love (which you and Josh are overflowing with), and many fun times full of laughter (which you were always a large part of in my life as we were growing up). I love you very much and I can't wait to see you the next time you are in town!

I hope that all of you are having a terrific Fourth of July! Prepare food on the grill. Watch the fireworks on a blanket with someone you love. Eat watermelon. Just get plain crazy!

Okay, I have a lawn chair calling my name.

But before I go, I have kept my mp3 player on shuffle all day and this song just made it into the rotation. I forgot how much I like this album. I thought I would post the song lyrics here.

"So Beautiful" by Dashboard Confessional

I heard that you were home again,
but you don't look like you're back to me.
With your focuses changing
your gaze is transfixed on a point
that I cannot see.

You've got your new ties.
I've got my old knots.
You've got your inside lies,
but you're never happy with what you've got.

Careful now, you're so beautiful
when you've convinced yourself.
No one else is quite as beautiful.

I heard that you were living well,
but you don't look like you're living to me.
Though the sparkle is gone
your smile is in place so that
everyone watching will see.

You've got them all convinced,
but I know so well
that you could list your friends
but you can't count on them.

Hold it now, you've got everyone convinced
that you're alright
when no one else is quite as vulnerable.

As soon as you've got it
you want something else.
It's not the sale that you love,
it's the sell.
It's not the price
that's gonna cost you.
It's just the weight
that's gonna bring you down.

Hold it now, you've got everyone convinced
that you're alright
when no one else is quite as vulnerable.
Careful now, you're so beautiful
when you've convinced yourself.
No one else is quite as beautiful.

As soon as you've got it
you want something else.
It's not the sale that you love
it's the sell.
It's not the price
that's gonna cost you.
It's just the weight
that's gonna bring you down, down, down, down....

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you...

Reasons this weekend will be awesome:
1) Grant will be here.
2) Cliff is playing an acoustic set at the Bedford tonight.
3) Chocolate chip pancakes.
4) Geocaching.
5) Going to Joe Allen's with Ashley and the Tobes.
6) Grant will be here.
7) Alfredo's burritos.
8) Going to the ranch.
9) Three-day weekend because of July 4th!
10) Fireworks.
11) BBC's.
12) Did I mention that Grant will be here?!