If given a chance and a rock see which one breaks a window...

Today was a good day. I woke up to the sound of constant, heavy rain outside my bedroom window. My room was cold and dark, but thanks to the down comforter I was pretty warm. For some reason, rain causes me to hear Counting Crows in my head...mostly their old stuff, pre-Hard Candy. I got up early to meet Rachel for coffee before our nine o'clock class. Rain always makes me want to sleep all day, so it still amazes me that I was up and out of the house by 7:45am. I talked about rain a few days ago, and mentioned that if I had worn the proper attire I would have walked in the rain. Today I was prepared. A few days ago I had to wade through the water barefoot with my jeans rolled up. Today I wore capri pants and flip flops; I couldn't go wrong. I pulled my hair back, threw on my trusty rain coat, and I was out the door. It was wonderful. The water was cold as my feet landed in puddles. I stood, looking up at the morning sky as rain hit my face, and wondered just how far a certain drop had fallen before it landed on the tip of my nose. If I was good at math I would try to calculate the distance, but I am no good at math.

After class and working for Fink this morning, I went home and took a nap on my parents' couch. There is something about being at home where everything is familiar. I know where we keep the Ovaltine, and I know the faucet in my parents' bathroom is quirky. I love my apartment, and to me it feels "lived in", but I get the best sleep at my parents' house. No one is ever there during the afternoons. It's just me, a quilt, the couch, and the remote. It's my own private get away, where no one calls me and I can be as loud or as silent as I want. I wouldn't trade my private time there for anything in the world.

Tonight, after meeting with the cast of Sing for the official script debut, I went to dinner with Danielle at Chili's. I love being able to sit around and talk to Danielle, and tonight was incredible because it felt like time just slowed down and we could enjoy our meal and our conversation without having somewhere to be by a specific time. We talked about theatre and winter ski trips and relationships and the prospects of Virginia and life in general. It was one of those conversations where we talked about everything and nothing. Those are my favorite talks. After dinner we came home and laid around, just sharing the silence. It's moments like this when I realize how blessed I am to have relationships that are comfortable. I think we have too much anxiety and stress in our lives anyway. We need people around with whom we can just be.

I have been listening to Caedmon's Call all day today, and driving home I heard a song I have listened to a million times, but it just seemed to fit, you know? I thought I would post the lyrics. Maybe it will fit with you too. It's ironic that Derek Webb writes the song based on a conversation with his friend Danny, because that's what we call Danielle...and my roommates and I sat around at 11:30 Monday night, eating the chocolate chip pancakes I made and talking-- moments to remember.

"Table for Two"by Caedmon's Call

Danny and I spent another late night over pancakes,
talkin' about soccer
and how every man's just the same.
We made speculation
on the who's and the when's of our futures,
and how everyone's lonely
but still we just couldn't complain.

And how we just hate being alone.
Could I have missed my only chance?
And now I'm just wasting my time
by looking around.
But you know I know better,
I'm not gonna worry about nothing.
'Cause if the birds and the flowers survive
then I'll make it okay.
If given a chance and a rock
see which one breaks a window,
and see which one keeps me up all night and into the day.

Because I'm so scared of being alone,
that I forget what house I live in.
And it's not my job to wait by the phone
for her to call.

Well this day's been crazy,
but everything's happened on schedule.
From the rain and the cold
to the drink that I spilled on my shirt.
'Cause you knew how you'd save me
before I fell dead in the garden.
And you knew this day
long before you made me out of dirt.

And you know the plans that you have for me.
And you can't plan the end and not plan the means.
So I suppose I just need some peace,
just to get me to sleep.