Hello all! I hope that you had a wonderful weekend. I spent most of the weekend trying to get some things accomplished for school before the craziness of SING began. It is here though, and we are going full speed ahead. This weekend I saved quite a bit of money, somehow scoring free meals here and there, and I used some cash I had put away plus the money I saved not having to buy food on clothes, etc. Friday night I went on a terrific double date. We ate at Texas Roadhouse (free steak!) and then we let Wayne and Danielle hang out at the apartment while we went to see "Garden State"! Saturday I took photos of Danielle and Wayne and he bought me lunch as a thank you; he is an incredible guy! Way to go Danny-P!
If you have not seen "Garden State", you simply must go. I laughed so hard at one point that I inhaled my gum and then swallowed it. I felt like a third grader. I haven't swallowed gum in forever. I think the people around me thought I was a) hyperventilating or b) dying. If you have seen the movie, I inhaled my gum somewhere between Andrew asking Sam to get in the sidecar of his motorcycle and the part where Sam is telling Andrew about her brother being adopted from Sally Struthers-- a cup of coffee a day kid. Oh man, I lost it. It is brilliant and poignant, hilarious and raw. It's one of the best movies I have seen in a long time. It's going on the Christmas list, baby!
Okay, I want to share a quick story that I heard at church yesterday. It really affected me and I have been thinking about it ever since. Dr. Christopher told us a story about Paco and his father. Paco was seventeen years old and, having arguments with and wronging his father, he decided it was time to go out on his own and move to Madrid. When he left, his father was heartbroken. He could not stand the pain of his only son leaving. He also hated the tension that was between them because his love for his son was so great. Paco's father decided to take out an ad in the newspaper in the city where Paco lived. The ad said:
Paco,
Meet me in the lobby of the Hotel Madrid at 2 o'clock on Friday. All is forgiven.
I love you,
Dad
When his father arrived, he planned to find his son waiting for him in the lobby of the hotel. When he entered the lobby, he found 800 boys/young men named Paco waiting to reunited with their fathers.
This story is incredible. It truly reflects the human longing for forgiveness and reconciliation. When we have built walls to keep those we love away, how badly do we want to tear them down and find peace? That is human nature. When someone builds a wall against us, how much do we want to hear them say, "(Fill in your name here), meet me. All is forgiven. I love you"? We all want to be forgiven. We all want to be shown mercy and grace. In most cases, we would all jump at the chance to right our wrongs. To reconcile with the people we feel animosity towards or who feel animosity towards us. We want to receive a letter like is seen above. We want them to greet us with open arms, saying, "All is forgiven. Let's move past this." How awesome is it that we receive a letter like this in our "mailboxes" every day from God? He is calling to each of us, saying, "(Fill in your name here), meet with me today. All is forgiven. I love you." He shows us grace and mercy daily, and He knows all about us-- our sins, our wounds, our ugly parts, yet He still wants to meet with us and show us His love. I think that is amazing.
Anyway, I need to go to work, so I better stop here. I will not be writing this week. We have to be up at the school from 6-midnight all week, so any free time I have I should probably do homework instead of huddling around my computer. I hope all of you have a terrific week! I will post sometime after Sunday. Oh, and if you haven't seen "Garden State", do yourself a favor and go see it. The soundtrack is awesome too! I have had Frou Frou stuck in my head all day. I will close with my favorite quotes from "Garden State":
Sam : Hey, I recognize you.
Andrew Largeman : Oh, did you go to Columbia High?
Sam : No, not from high school, from TV. Didn't you play the retarded quarterback?
Andrew Largeman : Yeah.
Sam : Are you really retarded?
Andrew Largeman : No.
Sam : Ooh, great job man! I really thought you were retarded. I mean, you're better than that Corky kid and he's actually retarded. If there was a retarded Oscar you would win, hands down, kick his ass!
Andrew Largeman : You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
Sam : I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew Largeman : You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.
Andrew Largeman : We may not always be as happy as you always dreamed we'd be, but for once, let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are.
Sam : This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before and that no one will copy throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing.
Andrew Largeman : You know, this necklace makes me think of this totally random memory of my mother. I was a little kid, and I was crying for whatever reason. And she was cradling me, rocking me back and forth, and I can just remember the silver balls rolling around. And there was snot dripping all over my face. She offered me her sleeve and told me to blow my nose. I can remember, even as a little kid, thinking to myself, "This is love... this is love."
Andrew Largeman : I don't want to waste another moment of my life without you in it. This is not over. I'm not putting a period at the end of anything. I'm putting like... an ellipses on it.
Monday, October 25, 2004
Thursday, October 21, 2004
In Eastland, the options are endless...
Gasoline: $15.00
Dinner: $8.00
Ice cream for two: $4.54
Drink at Sonic: $1.29
Total driving time: 2 hours
Spending three hours with a friend you haven't seen in a while: Priceless
I just got back from my rendevous in Eastland with Emily; she has deemed tonight the "Pulido-palooza"! The drive was awesome, and I felt more at peace than I have in a while. It was just me, the open road, good music, and I felt so relaxed on the way down there and back that I found myself driving under the speed limit, which is not like me at all. The drive back was great because there was no traffic and the sky was clear so I could see the stars! I really took my time and drove and listened to music and it was great because I didn't have any deadlines or pressures or time frames. No one was waiting on me at home, so I could get back as late as I wanted. The meeting time was also flexible, and I love that.
We ate at Pulido's Mexican Restaurant for dinner. I had the chicken enchilada dinner and it was terrific, plus our waiter was super handsome! It was nice to catch up with Emily and hear all about medical school and the cute boys and the hard exams, etc. We talked about guitars and music, concerts she's been to, friends (old and new), writing, etc. She let me read a few passages to her from what I have so far of my autobiography, and it was great getting her feedback. It's easy to forget the feeling of "someone gets me"-- I love that feeling and I love that Emily "gets" me and always has. We went to DQ for dessert and got blizzards. I highly recommend the DQ in Eastland, as there is this little...we called it a "nook"...right out front. There are several trees that surround it, and except for the Eastland cop that kept passing, it was a great place to sit and talk. I predict, in the year 2024, Eastland will be a thriving metropolis. You hide and watch! :)
It's time for a brief funny story: Tonight, I am waiting at McDonald's for Emily and I clean out my glove compartment, flip through a magazine, and then I grab my Bible looking for a specific verse for Sunday's service. I am sitting there, flipping through the New Testament, when through my window I hear this high-pitched barking. I see a dog in the car next to me, going crazy. I think it was a Chihuahua. The owner(s) had tied its leash around the rear view mirror (who does that?) and it was desperately trying to climb out the window. It was hopping around and the mirror would keep yanking him back. I think it would have been so choice if the mirror had been ripped completely off by this tiny, ferocious animal and the dog had been found wandering down Interstate 20, dragging the mirror behind.
Anyway, what made it even funnier is that I didn't truly take it in until later. Instead, I went right back to reading out of Romans. I read Ch. 12, and though I have read it before, it truly struck a chord. In verses 9-12 Paul writes, "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." The rest of the chapter is great, so if you feel so inclined, read it; I know you will enjoy it. The main reason I even posted this is because I am so thankful that the Bible gives its readers little "nuggets" of wisdom, if you will. Kind of summaries of much more broad subjects. These verses are so simply put, but they encompass so much. Think if all Christians aspired to these concepts, people would know we were different right off the bat. What if we lived in a world where everyone was sincere, devotion was consistent in people's characters instead of a rarity, and we were able to sit and wait for answers instead of growing impatient? Wouldn't that be an incredible society to live in?
If you read this and you live in Abilene and you do not go to church or you are not going this Sunday, you can always watch First Baptist on television (I think it's channel 5, but if not it is 4 or 10). The sermon this week is going to be great, and we are singing "How Beautiful". For those of you that grew up at First Baptist (or Emily who sang in the choir there), you should find this both ironic and funny. Don't get me wrong, I love "How Beautiful"; how could you not love Twila Paris?! I just believe that in my (approximately) seven years in the church choir, we sang "How Beautiful" (approximately) ten times. Not to mention several times in choir at A-high. This time, I am changing it up, because for the first time I am singing alto. It's different and fun; I like it. Anyway, we will be singing that in the service on Sunday. Also, mark your calendars because I want you all to come, FBC is hosting a program called "Christmas at the Paramount" and I believe it's on December 5th. Todd, the director, wants the entire event to feel like you are at your grandma's house for Christmas, so there will be cookies, and cider, and Christmas trees, and festive music, etc. The choir is doing most of the program and the music I got on Wednesday for the big event is a lot of fun. Please come! If you want tickets, let me know. They are free. That's right ladies and gentlemen...free. You could come, bring a date, free date night!
Well, I need to get to bed soon. Tomorrow I am going shopping with my mother and grandmother, and then tomorrow night I have the big double date with Danielle. I am not going with Danielle. Danielle's boyfriend Wayne is in town and they have set me up.
Dinner: $8.00
Ice cream for two: $4.54
Drink at Sonic: $1.29
Total driving time: 2 hours
Spending three hours with a friend you haven't seen in a while: Priceless
I just got back from my rendevous in Eastland with Emily; she has deemed tonight the "Pulido-palooza"! The drive was awesome, and I felt more at peace than I have in a while. It was just me, the open road, good music, and I felt so relaxed on the way down there and back that I found myself driving under the speed limit, which is not like me at all. The drive back was great because there was no traffic and the sky was clear so I could see the stars! I really took my time and drove and listened to music and it was great because I didn't have any deadlines or pressures or time frames. No one was waiting on me at home, so I could get back as late as I wanted. The meeting time was also flexible, and I love that.
We ate at Pulido's Mexican Restaurant for dinner. I had the chicken enchilada dinner and it was terrific, plus our waiter was super handsome! It was nice to catch up with Emily and hear all about medical school and the cute boys and the hard exams, etc. We talked about guitars and music, concerts she's been to, friends (old and new), writing, etc. She let me read a few passages to her from what I have so far of my autobiography, and it was great getting her feedback. It's easy to forget the feeling of "someone gets me"-- I love that feeling and I love that Emily "gets" me and always has. We went to DQ for dessert and got blizzards. I highly recommend the DQ in Eastland, as there is this little...we called it a "nook"...right out front. There are several trees that surround it, and except for the Eastland cop that kept passing, it was a great place to sit and talk. I predict, in the year 2024, Eastland will be a thriving metropolis. You hide and watch! :)
It's time for a brief funny story: Tonight, I am waiting at McDonald's for Emily and I clean out my glove compartment, flip through a magazine, and then I grab my Bible looking for a specific verse for Sunday's service. I am sitting there, flipping through the New Testament, when through my window I hear this high-pitched barking. I see a dog in the car next to me, going crazy. I think it was a Chihuahua. The owner(s) had tied its leash around the rear view mirror (who does that?) and it was desperately trying to climb out the window. It was hopping around and the mirror would keep yanking him back. I think it would have been so choice if the mirror had been ripped completely off by this tiny, ferocious animal and the dog had been found wandering down Interstate 20, dragging the mirror behind.
Anyway, what made it even funnier is that I didn't truly take it in until later. Instead, I went right back to reading out of Romans. I read Ch. 12, and though I have read it before, it truly struck a chord. In verses 9-12 Paul writes, "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." The rest of the chapter is great, so if you feel so inclined, read it; I know you will enjoy it. The main reason I even posted this is because I am so thankful that the Bible gives its readers little "nuggets" of wisdom, if you will. Kind of summaries of much more broad subjects. These verses are so simply put, but they encompass so much. Think if all Christians aspired to these concepts, people would know we were different right off the bat. What if we lived in a world where everyone was sincere, devotion was consistent in people's characters instead of a rarity, and we were able to sit and wait for answers instead of growing impatient? Wouldn't that be an incredible society to live in?
If you read this and you live in Abilene and you do not go to church or you are not going this Sunday, you can always watch First Baptist on television (I think it's channel 5, but if not it is 4 or 10). The sermon this week is going to be great, and we are singing "How Beautiful". For those of you that grew up at First Baptist (or Emily who sang in the choir there), you should find this both ironic and funny. Don't get me wrong, I love "How Beautiful"; how could you not love Twila Paris?! I just believe that in my (approximately) seven years in the church choir, we sang "How Beautiful" (approximately) ten times. Not to mention several times in choir at A-high. This time, I am changing it up, because for the first time I am singing alto. It's different and fun; I like it. Anyway, we will be singing that in the service on Sunday. Also, mark your calendars because I want you all to come, FBC is hosting a program called "Christmas at the Paramount" and I believe it's on December 5th. Todd, the director, wants the entire event to feel like you are at your grandma's house for Christmas, so there will be cookies, and cider, and Christmas trees, and festive music, etc. The choir is doing most of the program and the music I got on Wednesday for the big event is a lot of fun. Please come! If you want tickets, let me know. They are free. That's right ladies and gentlemen...free. You could come, bring a date, free date night!
Well, I need to get to bed soon. Tomorrow I am going shopping with my mother and grandmother, and then tomorrow night I have the big double date with Danielle. I am not going with Danielle. Danielle's boyfriend Wayne is in town and they have set me up.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
With love we will survive...
The title of this blog is a line from Flickerstick. I will be going to see them the weekend after Sing! How excited am I? Oh, very!
I am not going to write tomorrow because there are a million and one things going on (and tomorrow will be my first time to go to church choir practice-- it feels like I am back in high school) especially with Sing sneaking up on me. I cannot believe it is next weekend! Rehearsals are going well, but with Fall Break we cannot meet again until Sunday night at 10pm. It's getting crazy. We have to be up at the school every night next week from 6-11; I am not looking forward to that. I am looking forward to sitting in the audience and getting to watch for the first time ever. I am also excited about Marjorie, Carolyn, David, and other alumni coming in! Homecoming weekend is always incredible!
Today I got all flustered in a conversation between a professor, two computer nerds, and me. (Sounds like the beginning to a bad joke doesn't it? So there was this professor...two nerds..and....) We were talking about literature and technology. I am not so much an advocate for technology when it applies to literature; I like to have a hardback book in my hands...something tangible. They were all like, "Well, within the next thirty years most books will not even go through the publishing process, they will be E-books...blah blah blah." The idea of my children not holding a book, but rather getting online scares me. I remember the thrill of a new book-- going to Scholastic book fairs, the way a new books smells-- it becomes like an old friend that you can take off the shelf and flip through anytime. Well, I got off on this soap box, if you will, and I got all flabbergasted. There were several occasions where I couldn't get words out...just inarticulate sounds. My teacher just started whimsically waving her hands and she said, "Melia, Melia...use your words." Hearing her say that made me laugh so hard! It is a running joke between me and my friend Cara, whom I haven't talked to in a while; I hope she's doing well.:) Mrs. Kendrick can always make me laugh! I think I got my point across to the two computer nerds, but I don't think they will ever understand. Really, we are on polar opposite sides. Their careers depend on the growth of technology. Mine thrives on the past, really. I don't think either career will ever be made obsolete-- at least that's what I am hoping, because we all know that mine would be the first to go!
So, tonight I am having dinner at Chili's with Ashley and Shannon. Ashley's husband Toby has been out of town (except on the weekends) for a few weeks now, so during the week we like to get together and hang out. We were going to attempt to cook, but that would just be a waste of time and the food would not equal her husband's cuisine. Who are we kidding? The quality of the food at Chili's doesn't hold a candle to her husband's fabulous meals. Tonight we are watching a movie, which should be a great way to escape the pressure of stacks of homework waiting a home. On second thought, maybe I should stay home and do my homework. No, no...what am I thinking?!
One exciting project going on right now, that is taking me away from my school work is: I am looking into different PhD programs and weighing my options. Right now I am looking at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, Texas A&M, Baylor, and the University of Washington. If you know of any good programs, let me know. I am not sure that this is the route I want to take, but I have been thinking about it more and more recently.
Anyway, I will post again on Thursday afternoon, before I hit the road to meet Emily! I hope you all have a terrific week! Over and out.
I am not going to write tomorrow because there are a million and one things going on (and tomorrow will be my first time to go to church choir practice-- it feels like I am back in high school) especially with Sing sneaking up on me. I cannot believe it is next weekend! Rehearsals are going well, but with Fall Break we cannot meet again until Sunday night at 10pm. It's getting crazy. We have to be up at the school every night next week from 6-11; I am not looking forward to that. I am looking forward to sitting in the audience and getting to watch for the first time ever. I am also excited about Marjorie, Carolyn, David, and other alumni coming in! Homecoming weekend is always incredible!
Today I got all flustered in a conversation between a professor, two computer nerds, and me. (Sounds like the beginning to a bad joke doesn't it? So there was this professor...two nerds..and....) We were talking about literature and technology. I am not so much an advocate for technology when it applies to literature; I like to have a hardback book in my hands...something tangible. They were all like, "Well, within the next thirty years most books will not even go through the publishing process, they will be E-books...blah blah blah." The idea of my children not holding a book, but rather getting online scares me. I remember the thrill of a new book-- going to Scholastic book fairs, the way a new books smells-- it becomes like an old friend that you can take off the shelf and flip through anytime. Well, I got off on this soap box, if you will, and I got all flabbergasted. There were several occasions where I couldn't get words out...just inarticulate sounds. My teacher just started whimsically waving her hands and she said, "Melia, Melia...use your words." Hearing her say that made me laugh so hard! It is a running joke between me and my friend Cara, whom I haven't talked to in a while; I hope she's doing well.:) Mrs. Kendrick can always make me laugh! I think I got my point across to the two computer nerds, but I don't think they will ever understand. Really, we are on polar opposite sides. Their careers depend on the growth of technology. Mine thrives on the past, really. I don't think either career will ever be made obsolete-- at least that's what I am hoping, because we all know that mine would be the first to go!
So, tonight I am having dinner at Chili's with Ashley and Shannon. Ashley's husband Toby has been out of town (except on the weekends) for a few weeks now, so during the week we like to get together and hang out. We were going to attempt to cook, but that would just be a waste of time and the food would not equal her husband's cuisine. Who are we kidding? The quality of the food at Chili's doesn't hold a candle to her husband's fabulous meals. Tonight we are watching a movie, which should be a great way to escape the pressure of stacks of homework waiting a home. On second thought, maybe I should stay home and do my homework. No, no...what am I thinking?!
One exciting project going on right now, that is taking me away from my school work is: I am looking into different PhD programs and weighing my options. Right now I am looking at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, Texas A&M, Baylor, and the University of Washington. If you know of any good programs, let me know. I am not sure that this is the route I want to take, but I have been thinking about it more and more recently.
Anyway, I will post again on Thursday afternoon, before I hit the road to meet Emily! I hope you all have a terrific week! Over and out.
Monday, October 18, 2004
You prayed God would bring me a brand new song...
First off, I want to thank you Trevor for the kind words you left me. I appreciate your encouragement and, as I said, your wisdom. Thank you for your steadfast friendship, though time and distance separate us. Emily, I look forward to talking to you more on Thursday night. Eastland here we come, baby! Can you say progressive dinner?!
Secondly, did you know that the 'Q' was missing from my can of Campbell's Alphabet Soup at lunch? As I pushed my spoon around I found A-P and then R-Z, but no Q. I feel jipped in a way. I urge you to go to your local grocery store, by some Campbell's, pop open a can, cook it on high for two minutes, sit down with some Zesta crackers and the bowl of soup and go through the alphabet. Maybe you will have the missing Q. Maybe one of your letters will be missing. Check it out and report back.
This weekend was nice and relaxing. Friday we took Jason out for his birthday. We went to Texas Roadhouse, but we did not tell them it was his birthday. I figure when we made him ride the saddle last year at TR, we had tormented him enough. It was a fun group and the steak was incredible, as always. The rest of the night we just hung out and talked. Saturday was Katie and Josh's wedding. It was really nice: quaint, elegant, simple. I loved it and she was a knock-out! The reception at the Windsor was beautiful. There was dancing, a slide show featuring the engagement shots I took of them what seems forever long ago-- at Rose Park and ones at the Church of the Heavenly Rest, and most importantly-- all kinds of cake! Chocolate cake, white cake, cheesecake! Excitement! I was asked to take more engagement photos by two couples at the wedding, so that should be fun, and I am taking Danielle and her boyfriend Wayne's pictures this Saturday. The rest of Saturday I spent cleaning and doing homework because I knew we would be up and out late. We ate dinner and, ironically, watched bits and pieces of "The Growing Pains Reunion"! :) Kim made all of us chicken fettucini alfredo, Danielle made the peach tea, I made nothing-- which is how I like it. Carrie, Kris and I just sat around until dinner was ready-- that's the life. Later that evening we went to Java City and then to The Leaf where Levi Smith was playing. He was incredible and Kris bought and burned his album for us. It has this great, acoustic feel and I am thoroughly enjoying it. That night was the Halloween party in theatre, and that was awesome! The costumes alone were worth going for. We ate pizza and cookies and played murder in the dark, which is always exciting! Danielle and I ended up going home around 2:30 and I wrote for awhile and then went to bed around four. Sunday was the most exciting day for me because the sermon at FBC was incredible, and it was great to see my friend Luke who now lives in New York; he is in Nathan Lane's musical "Frogs" on Broadway. The song, the message, the hymns, everything was incredible and it was just what I needed to hear. I have ordered a tape of it, and Emily-- I think you may enjoy it! Last night I went to coffee with Rachel and it was such a breath of fresh air. We drove around and listened to Sara Groves and The Normals and just talked about life, friends, trials, relationships, grace, etc. I was going to put up Ginny Owens lyrics today, but in writing the last line, I am thinking back to the song "More Than You'll Ever Know" by Watermark. It seems so fitting. Remember when we used to drive around singing it, Emily? For purposes of nostalgia, and purposes of thankfulness, I will put them here:
"More Than You'll Ever Know" by Watermark
Something brought you to my mind today.
I thought about the funny ways
you make me laugh,
and yet I feel like it's okay to cry with you.
Something about just being with you,
when I leave I feel like I've been with God
and that's the way it ought to be, yeah.
'Cause you've been more than a friend to me,
you fight off my enemies.
'Cause you have spoken the truth over my life.
And you'll never know what it means to me,
just to know you've been on your knees for me.
Oh, you have blessed my life
more than you'll ever know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, more than you'll ever know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You had faith when I had none.
You prayed God would bring me a brand new song,
when I didn't think I could find the strength to sing.
And all the while I've been hoping that I'll
do the kind of praying for you that you've done for me,
and that's the way it ought to be, yeah.
You have carried me.
You have taken upon a burden
that wasn't your own, yeah.
May that blessing return to you
a hundredfold.
Oh oh yeah, a hundredfold.
'Cause you've been more than a friend to me,
you fight off my enemies.
'Cause you have spoken the truth over my life.
And you'll never know what it means to me,
just to know you've been on your knees for me.
Oh, you have blessed my life
more than you'll ever know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, more than you'll ever know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah more than you'll ever know.
More than you'll ever know.
One lesson I have learned this weekend is that we need to be on our knees for all reasons. For our friends, for our enemies, for those we have hurt, for those that have hurt us, for forgiveness, for healing, for reconciliation, for wisdom, for thanks, to ask questions, to express doubts, even to voice anger. We need to come to Him with all things, and that is something I overlook. I want to take things on my own, plow through them with my own steam. Sometimes I only pray for myself, expressing thankfulness or concerns or requests, but in praying for the hearts of others we become less hardened. Matthew 5:7 says, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." In prayer there is forgiveness and peace and happiness. The Normals write, "Heaven holds a promise for every friend we've left behind, and Time is not the ruler like I thought he was. Someday soon we'll wake up, wake to see each other running. Arms open. All if forgiven. Heaven heals." What a terrific image. One that tugs on your heart strings. That there will be a day when everyone that has walked away or that I have walked away from-- barriers will be dropped and we will all come back together. When God has healed us all, where there is no anger or malice...only forgiveness and love, there we will come running with arms open. I am ready for that day!
Secondly, did you know that the 'Q' was missing from my can of Campbell's Alphabet Soup at lunch? As I pushed my spoon around I found A-P and then R-Z, but no Q. I feel jipped in a way. I urge you to go to your local grocery store, by some Campbell's, pop open a can, cook it on high for two minutes, sit down with some Zesta crackers and the bowl of soup and go through the alphabet. Maybe you will have the missing Q. Maybe one of your letters will be missing. Check it out and report back.
This weekend was nice and relaxing. Friday we took Jason out for his birthday. We went to Texas Roadhouse, but we did not tell them it was his birthday. I figure when we made him ride the saddle last year at TR, we had tormented him enough. It was a fun group and the steak was incredible, as always. The rest of the night we just hung out and talked. Saturday was Katie and Josh's wedding. It was really nice: quaint, elegant, simple. I loved it and she was a knock-out! The reception at the Windsor was beautiful. There was dancing, a slide show featuring the engagement shots I took of them what seems forever long ago-- at Rose Park and ones at the Church of the Heavenly Rest, and most importantly-- all kinds of cake! Chocolate cake, white cake, cheesecake! Excitement! I was asked to take more engagement photos by two couples at the wedding, so that should be fun, and I am taking Danielle and her boyfriend Wayne's pictures this Saturday. The rest of Saturday I spent cleaning and doing homework because I knew we would be up and out late. We ate dinner and, ironically, watched bits and pieces of "The Growing Pains Reunion"! :) Kim made all of us chicken fettucini alfredo, Danielle made the peach tea, I made nothing-- which is how I like it. Carrie, Kris and I just sat around until dinner was ready-- that's the life. Later that evening we went to Java City and then to The Leaf where Levi Smith was playing. He was incredible and Kris bought and burned his album for us. It has this great, acoustic feel and I am thoroughly enjoying it. That night was the Halloween party in theatre, and that was awesome! The costumes alone were worth going for. We ate pizza and cookies and played murder in the dark, which is always exciting! Danielle and I ended up going home around 2:30 and I wrote for awhile and then went to bed around four. Sunday was the most exciting day for me because the sermon at FBC was incredible, and it was great to see my friend Luke who now lives in New York; he is in Nathan Lane's musical "Frogs" on Broadway. The song, the message, the hymns, everything was incredible and it was just what I needed to hear. I have ordered a tape of it, and Emily-- I think you may enjoy it! Last night I went to coffee with Rachel and it was such a breath of fresh air. We drove around and listened to Sara Groves and The Normals and just talked about life, friends, trials, relationships, grace, etc. I was going to put up Ginny Owens lyrics today, but in writing the last line, I am thinking back to the song "More Than You'll Ever Know" by Watermark. It seems so fitting. Remember when we used to drive around singing it, Emily? For purposes of nostalgia, and purposes of thankfulness, I will put them here:
"More Than You'll Ever Know" by Watermark
Something brought you to my mind today.
I thought about the funny ways
you make me laugh,
and yet I feel like it's okay to cry with you.
Something about just being with you,
when I leave I feel like I've been with God
and that's the way it ought to be, yeah.
'Cause you've been more than a friend to me,
you fight off my enemies.
'Cause you have spoken the truth over my life.
And you'll never know what it means to me,
just to know you've been on your knees for me.
Oh, you have blessed my life
more than you'll ever know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, more than you'll ever know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You had faith when I had none.
You prayed God would bring me a brand new song,
when I didn't think I could find the strength to sing.
And all the while I've been hoping that I'll
do the kind of praying for you that you've done for me,
and that's the way it ought to be, yeah.
You have carried me.
You have taken upon a burden
that wasn't your own, yeah.
May that blessing return to you
a hundredfold.
Oh oh yeah, a hundredfold.
'Cause you've been more than a friend to me,
you fight off my enemies.
'Cause you have spoken the truth over my life.
And you'll never know what it means to me,
just to know you've been on your knees for me.
Oh, you have blessed my life
more than you'll ever know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, more than you'll ever know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah more than you'll ever know.
More than you'll ever know.
One lesson I have learned this weekend is that we need to be on our knees for all reasons. For our friends, for our enemies, for those we have hurt, for those that have hurt us, for forgiveness, for healing, for reconciliation, for wisdom, for thanks, to ask questions, to express doubts, even to voice anger. We need to come to Him with all things, and that is something I overlook. I want to take things on my own, plow through them with my own steam. Sometimes I only pray for myself, expressing thankfulness or concerns or requests, but in praying for the hearts of others we become less hardened. Matthew 5:7 says, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." In prayer there is forgiveness and peace and happiness. The Normals write, "Heaven holds a promise for every friend we've left behind, and Time is not the ruler like I thought he was. Someday soon we'll wake up, wake to see each other running. Arms open. All if forgiven. Heaven heals." What a terrific image. One that tugs on your heart strings. That there will be a day when everyone that has walked away or that I have walked away from-- barriers will be dropped and we will all come back together. When God has healed us all, where there is no anger or malice...only forgiveness and love, there we will come running with arms open. I am ready for that day!
Friday, October 15, 2004
And the disappearing shall reappear...
in dreams.
Before I get into the blog I want to mention dreams. For the past two weeks I have been having dreams with people I know and love in them, and we are not doing anything spectacular; we are usually just having coffee or watching TV or laying around talking. Two nights ago I had one with Chris that felt so, so real. I woke up, and though I have emailed him in hopes of resolving things, nothing has been resolved. I guess I just need to find closure within myself, so that's what I am currently working on, but isn't it crazy that in our dreams we can meet up with people that are gone or that you no longer speak to and they are just as real as they were when you last spoke or went out for coffee? I had one a while back with Angela, and we were just out talking. I woke up disappointed because she is no longer here, but also happy that I could see her and talk to her, even if it was in my imagination. This morning I woke up, after having a dream with a friend that I have not talked to in a couple weeks, and I was actually mid sentence. She said, "I'm cold." And I said, "Wait a second and I will turn off...", and I woke up saying "the fan" and looking for her. Random, right? Dreams are crazy. I feel like your subconscious brings up issues that are unresolved, and in your dreams you can attempt to resolve them. My dream last night might have stemmed from a verse in Matthew 5 that I read before bed. It says, "If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering." Closure is Biblical. I hate that I have attempted to reconcile things the past few weeks via email, because words come across wrong-- as I have said in a previous posting. Maybe I am scared of confrontation, but I think if Chris were here I would ask him to coffee. Kansas is just a long way away. I want to ask others to coffee, but I am scared of their responses...scared of making anymore moves. I just wish I knew if any of these people have received my attempts in communication. I guess there is no way of knowing whether or not someone has received your email. Emails asking for forgiveness (for little insignificant things, as well as the big), hoping to find some peace. That's really all I want. I want to re-open lines of communication and find a common ground. That's what God calls us to do, but what can I do when I feel like I have tried everything? It seems like I should just stop pressing the envelope and wait for others to make a move, if they ever do-- I pray they do. I would appreciate input on this...Emily, Trevor, Keren...I trust your sage wisdom, and I am at the end of my rope. I will go ahead and say thank you, in case you do have any advice. Thank you.
This blog will be broken down into three parts: school, life, and extracurricular activities.
School: I have not written in a while because of crazy mid-terms week/professors all decided to make their papers and huge projects due on the same day. Thanks English Department at HSU. Right now I am reading Helen Keller's autobiography, which is a wonderful and pretty quick read. I am using this book for two presentations next week-- in American Autobiographies, as well as my Reading for Adolescents course. I love that I decided to do that, because that means less reading for me. I am finishing Hurston's Dust Tracks On A Road, which is wonderful. I have a research paper due in two weeks for Thompson and my own autobiography is due in a week and a half. I feel a tangent about the autobiography coming on. I have very much enjoyed writing my own autobiography because it has allowed me to experiment with various techniques and styles that are somewhat innovative. I have enjoyed sitting at coffee shops at night, writing in a journal, because taking in everything around me has given me wonderful ideas to work with. It's been therapeutic for me, and I find myself looking forward to that time throughout the day. Right now I am having to figure out transitions in subjects, and that has been a daunting task, but nonetheless, I am enjoying it thoroughly! As far as presentation goes, I believe I am going to hand out copies to everyone in the class because, as I cannot create or keep up with three different voices, it would be hard for them to follow. A few months ago, my friend Cara suggested that I wear glasses when I am speaking from the counselor's point of view. I hope I can make that work because it is a terrific idea. There are a few times when the dialogue is somewhat quick- back and forth- and I am not sure if I could put them on, take them off, put them back on, that rapidly. We will see. I have been reading segments of it, thus far, to my roommates when I get back from Starbucks, or Mezamiz, or Java City, and they are so wonderful to sit there and listen to me ramble on. I am both excited and scared to present it to the class. I wish I had a bigger pre-reading audience to give me feedback. Maybe I will round up some strangers and buy them coffee if they listen.
Life: Life is good! Katie and Josh are getting married tomorrow, so that should be exciting. Yesterday in the computer lab she was like, "Hey Melia, could you sing at the wedding?" I was thinking, "Your wedding? Saturday? This Saturday? A song I have never heard...hmm." I think she saw the fear in my eyes and she was like, "No...it's okay. I just thought maybe you could." I felt like a heel, but this weekend is crazy enough as it is; plus, she didn't have the sheet music. Buh?! Kris Noteboom is coming back to Abilene this weekend, so mucho excitemento!! We were going to take a roadtrip to Dallas this weekend, but Danielle has rehearsal and Kim has something, so we are staying here. It ended up working out perfectly though because I had forgotten all about the wedding, and I most definitely want to be there. Katie has been a friend of mine for a few years, and even though we haven't talked much as of late (with busy schedules and different friends), I wouldn't miss it for the world. Singing at is a whole other story. One day of preparation? Whatever! Saturday night there is a party in the theatre. An early Halloween party. I am not sure if I am going or not, as I hate Halloween and I know we will be up uber-late. I jokingly told my roommates that I couldn't go because there is a Growing Pains reunion on. What if that were really my reason for not going? I think it should be, and I hope they tell everyone that that is why I am not there. I love me some Seavers!
Extracurricular activities: There have not been too many activities this week besides library time, and time spent hovering over books in a coffee shop. I wanted to go see Snow Patrol on Wednesday, but seeing as how I had a project due Thursday I couldn't make it. I was so happy when Emily called from the concert during my favorite song! She scored many, many cool points, but more than that I just appreciated it a lot. I had had my nose in a book all night, and when she called at 11pm and I heard her voice and then SP playing "Run" in the background, it made my night. Thank you Emily, for thinking of me. Wednesday was exciting because I met Rachel for our weekly coffee "date". I still cannot believe we meet at 8am, but I always leave wide awake and thankful for that mid-week pick me up. Also, something else I have been thoroughly enjoying is my new work out routine. It helps break up all of the reading and writing, etc. Three times a week I ride 5K on my bike..usually from my parents house to HSU, around the campus, and back. Then, on alternating days, I do Pilates. I feel better than I have in a long time. Working out helps with stress so much and it gives me something in the middle of the day to look forward to. I hope to continue finding the motivation to do this, even when it gets cold outside. The weather this week has been incredible. It's so beautiful and there is a crisp breeze. I adore it. I hope that you have a wonderful weekend. Tonight, it's Girls Night, only we are taking us some "mens" along! Jason's birthday is on Sunday, so let the celebration begin tonight! Happy upcoming birthday man, you know I love you! ...In that purely platonic way! :)
Before I get into the blog I want to mention dreams. For the past two weeks I have been having dreams with people I know and love in them, and we are not doing anything spectacular; we are usually just having coffee or watching TV or laying around talking. Two nights ago I had one with Chris that felt so, so real. I woke up, and though I have emailed him in hopes of resolving things, nothing has been resolved. I guess I just need to find closure within myself, so that's what I am currently working on, but isn't it crazy that in our dreams we can meet up with people that are gone or that you no longer speak to and they are just as real as they were when you last spoke or went out for coffee? I had one a while back with Angela, and we were just out talking. I woke up disappointed because she is no longer here, but also happy that I could see her and talk to her, even if it was in my imagination. This morning I woke up, after having a dream with a friend that I have not talked to in a couple weeks, and I was actually mid sentence. She said, "I'm cold." And I said, "Wait a second and I will turn off...", and I woke up saying "the fan" and looking for her. Random, right? Dreams are crazy. I feel like your subconscious brings up issues that are unresolved, and in your dreams you can attempt to resolve them. My dream last night might have stemmed from a verse in Matthew 5 that I read before bed. It says, "If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering." Closure is Biblical. I hate that I have attempted to reconcile things the past few weeks via email, because words come across wrong-- as I have said in a previous posting. Maybe I am scared of confrontation, but I think if Chris were here I would ask him to coffee. Kansas is just a long way away. I want to ask others to coffee, but I am scared of their responses...scared of making anymore moves. I just wish I knew if any of these people have received my attempts in communication. I guess there is no way of knowing whether or not someone has received your email. Emails asking for forgiveness (for little insignificant things, as well as the big), hoping to find some peace. That's really all I want. I want to re-open lines of communication and find a common ground. That's what God calls us to do, but what can I do when I feel like I have tried everything? It seems like I should just stop pressing the envelope and wait for others to make a move, if they ever do-- I pray they do. I would appreciate input on this...Emily, Trevor, Keren...I trust your sage wisdom, and I am at the end of my rope. I will go ahead and say thank you, in case you do have any advice. Thank you.
This blog will be broken down into three parts: school, life, and extracurricular activities.
School: I have not written in a while because of crazy mid-terms week/professors all decided to make their papers and huge projects due on the same day. Thanks English Department at HSU. Right now I am reading Helen Keller's autobiography, which is a wonderful and pretty quick read. I am using this book for two presentations next week-- in American Autobiographies, as well as my Reading for Adolescents course. I love that I decided to do that, because that means less reading for me. I am finishing Hurston's Dust Tracks On A Road, which is wonderful. I have a research paper due in two weeks for Thompson and my own autobiography is due in a week and a half. I feel a tangent about the autobiography coming on. I have very much enjoyed writing my own autobiography because it has allowed me to experiment with various techniques and styles that are somewhat innovative. I have enjoyed sitting at coffee shops at night, writing in a journal, because taking in everything around me has given me wonderful ideas to work with. It's been therapeutic for me, and I find myself looking forward to that time throughout the day. Right now I am having to figure out transitions in subjects, and that has been a daunting task, but nonetheless, I am enjoying it thoroughly! As far as presentation goes, I believe I am going to hand out copies to everyone in the class because, as I cannot create or keep up with three different voices, it would be hard for them to follow. A few months ago, my friend Cara suggested that I wear glasses when I am speaking from the counselor's point of view. I hope I can make that work because it is a terrific idea. There are a few times when the dialogue is somewhat quick- back and forth- and I am not sure if I could put them on, take them off, put them back on, that rapidly. We will see. I have been reading segments of it, thus far, to my roommates when I get back from Starbucks, or Mezamiz, or Java City, and they are so wonderful to sit there and listen to me ramble on. I am both excited and scared to present it to the class. I wish I had a bigger pre-reading audience to give me feedback. Maybe I will round up some strangers and buy them coffee if they listen.
Life: Life is good! Katie and Josh are getting married tomorrow, so that should be exciting. Yesterday in the computer lab she was like, "Hey Melia, could you sing at the wedding?" I was thinking, "Your wedding? Saturday? This Saturday? A song I have never heard...hmm." I think she saw the fear in my eyes and she was like, "No...it's okay. I just thought maybe you could." I felt like a heel, but this weekend is crazy enough as it is; plus, she didn't have the sheet music. Buh?! Kris Noteboom is coming back to Abilene this weekend, so mucho excitemento!! We were going to take a roadtrip to Dallas this weekend, but Danielle has rehearsal and Kim has something, so we are staying here. It ended up working out perfectly though because I had forgotten all about the wedding, and I most definitely want to be there. Katie has been a friend of mine for a few years, and even though we haven't talked much as of late (with busy schedules and different friends), I wouldn't miss it for the world. Singing at is a whole other story. One day of preparation? Whatever! Saturday night there is a party in the theatre. An early Halloween party. I am not sure if I am going or not, as I hate Halloween and I know we will be up uber-late. I jokingly told my roommates that I couldn't go because there is a Growing Pains reunion on. What if that were really my reason for not going? I think it should be, and I hope they tell everyone that that is why I am not there. I love me some Seavers!
Extracurricular activities: There have not been too many activities this week besides library time, and time spent hovering over books in a coffee shop. I wanted to go see Snow Patrol on Wednesday, but seeing as how I had a project due Thursday I couldn't make it. I was so happy when Emily called from the concert during my favorite song! She scored many, many cool points, but more than that I just appreciated it a lot. I had had my nose in a book all night, and when she called at 11pm and I heard her voice and then SP playing "Run" in the background, it made my night. Thank you Emily, for thinking of me. Wednesday was exciting because I met Rachel for our weekly coffee "date". I still cannot believe we meet at 8am, but I always leave wide awake and thankful for that mid-week pick me up. Also, something else I have been thoroughly enjoying is my new work out routine. It helps break up all of the reading and writing, etc. Three times a week I ride 5K on my bike..usually from my parents house to HSU, around the campus, and back. Then, on alternating days, I do Pilates. I feel better than I have in a long time. Working out helps with stress so much and it gives me something in the middle of the day to look forward to. I hope to continue finding the motivation to do this, even when it gets cold outside. The weather this week has been incredible. It's so beautiful and there is a crisp breeze. I adore it. I hope that you have a wonderful weekend. Tonight, it's Girls Night, only we are taking us some "mens" along! Jason's birthday is on Sunday, so let the celebration begin tonight! Happy upcoming birthday man, you know I love you! ...In that purely platonic way! :)
Monday, October 11, 2004
I'll sing it one last time for you...
I just found out that Snow Patrol is performing at the Gypsy Tea Room in Deep Ellum on Wednesday night. Anyone interested in going? Eisley opens for them. It will be an incredible show. I have been really into their music lately, and seeing them live would be so great. I will post lyrics from one of their songs I have been listening to today as an incentive. It is an awesome song, and the lyrics hit ya right there. You know you want to go.
"Run" by Snow Patrol
I'll sing it one last time for you
then we really have to go.
You've been the only thing that's right
in all I've done.
And I can barely look at you,
but every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
away from here.
Light up, light up
as if you have a choice.
Even if you cannot hear my voice,
I'll be right beside you dear.
Louder, louder
and we'll run for our lives.
I can hardly speak. I understand
why you can't raise your voice to say
To think I might not see those eyes,
it makes it so hard not to cry.
And as we say our long goodbyes,
I nearly do.
Light up, light up
as if you have a choice.
Even if you cannot hear my voice,
I'll be right beside you dear.
Louder, louder
and we'll run for our lives.
I can hardly speak. I understand
why you can't raise your voice to say
Slower, slower
we don't have time for that.
All I want is to find an easier way
to get out of our little heads.
Have heart, my dear.
We're bound to be afraid.
Even if it's just for a few days,
making up for all this mess.
Light up, light up
as if you have a choice.
Even if you cannot hear my voice,
I'll be right beside you dear.
"Run" by Snow Patrol
I'll sing it one last time for you
then we really have to go.
You've been the only thing that's right
in all I've done.
And I can barely look at you,
but every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
away from here.
Light up, light up
as if you have a choice.
Even if you cannot hear my voice,
I'll be right beside you dear.
Louder, louder
and we'll run for our lives.
I can hardly speak. I understand
why you can't raise your voice to say
To think I might not see those eyes,
it makes it so hard not to cry.
And as we say our long goodbyes,
I nearly do.
Light up, light up
as if you have a choice.
Even if you cannot hear my voice,
I'll be right beside you dear.
Louder, louder
and we'll run for our lives.
I can hardly speak. I understand
why you can't raise your voice to say
Slower, slower
we don't have time for that.
All I want is to find an easier way
to get out of our little heads.
Have heart, my dear.
We're bound to be afraid.
Even if it's just for a few days,
making up for all this mess.
Light up, light up
as if you have a choice.
Even if you cannot hear my voice,
I'll be right beside you dear.
Belief makes things true...
This week is already insane. Editing, reading, meetings, more reading. I am not going to post for a while. I will try to give a brief summary of ongoings, thoughts, etc. at the end of the week. We had people over until late last night, so again, I got almost nothing accomplished save for my unit plan over the life of Sylvia Plath for Reading. I did get two CD's in the deal. Kris made me two awesome albums (one mellow, one chick-rock) and I have been excited about them all day!
Did you know that I am allergic to pecans...or maybe it's walnuts? I didn't. Either way, my mouth has been paying the price for the last two days. Damn those brownies with the pretty pink icing. They drew me in, made me want more, and I woke up itching. I am boycotting nuts. Who is with me?
Okay, anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful week. Read something thought provoking (Try Dust Tracks on a Road by Zora Neale Hurston and keep highlighters near by. I have gone through two already.), listen to good music (Gavin Degraw, Damien Rice, Elliot Smith), eat delicious food until you're full, laugh a lot, hug your friends, enjoy the autumn weather, and find your own place where you can be at peace and rest. I will write in a few days.
These lyrics are for you. I told you I would post them.
"Belief" by Gavin Degraw
Belief
makes things real
makes things feel
feel alright.
Belief
makes things true
things like you
you and I.
Tonight, you arrested my mind
when you came to my defense
with a knife
in the shape of your mouth,
in the form of your body
with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me.
Belief
builds from scratch
doesn't need to relax,
it doesn't need space.
Long live the queen and I'll be the king
in the collar of grace.
Tonight, you arrested my mind
when you came to my defense
with a knife
in the shape of your mouth
in the form of your body
with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me.
Belief
I'm going to yell it from the rooftops.
I'll wear a sign on my chest,
that's the least I can do.
Tonight, you arrested my mind
when you came to my defense
with a knife
in the shape of your mouth
in the form of your body
with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me.
Tonight, you arrested my mind
when you came to my defense
with a knife
in the shape of your mouth
in the form of your body
with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me.
And I'll stand by my
belief.
Did you know that I am allergic to pecans...or maybe it's walnuts? I didn't. Either way, my mouth has been paying the price for the last two days. Damn those brownies with the pretty pink icing. They drew me in, made me want more, and I woke up itching. I am boycotting nuts. Who is with me?
Okay, anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful week. Read something thought provoking (Try Dust Tracks on a Road by Zora Neale Hurston and keep highlighters near by. I have gone through two already.), listen to good music (Gavin Degraw, Damien Rice, Elliot Smith), eat delicious food until you're full, laugh a lot, hug your friends, enjoy the autumn weather, and find your own place where you can be at peace and rest. I will write in a few days.
These lyrics are for you. I told you I would post them.
"Belief" by Gavin Degraw
Belief
makes things real
makes things feel
feel alright.
Belief
makes things true
things like you
you and I.
Tonight, you arrested my mind
when you came to my defense
with a knife
in the shape of your mouth,
in the form of your body
with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me.
Belief
builds from scratch
doesn't need to relax,
it doesn't need space.
Long live the queen and I'll be the king
in the collar of grace.
Tonight, you arrested my mind
when you came to my defense
with a knife
in the shape of your mouth
in the form of your body
with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me.
Belief
I'm going to yell it from the rooftops.
I'll wear a sign on my chest,
that's the least I can do.
Tonight, you arrested my mind
when you came to my defense
with a knife
in the shape of your mouth
in the form of your body
with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me.
Tonight, you arrested my mind
when you came to my defense
with a knife
in the shape of your mouth
in the form of your body
with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me.
And I'll stand by my
belief.
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