Do not forget to remember...

I cannot believe it is the end of the semester. I mean, I am glad that after Friday I will not have to live assignment to assignment, but where has the time gone? At this rate, falling into a schedule where weeks fly by and entire months seemingly slide through my fingers, I understand more and more the phrase: "In the blink of an eye". Maybe that phrase is "over-40's", but truly, time does fly. Last May I graduated, and I remember the entire day and all of its activities so well. Now it's May and I am watching friends graduate, as I pull together plans to wrap up the final course work towards my Masters. How has this happened? I am sure the next thing I know I will be in Dallas, sitting at a desk in my apartment, wondering how I even got there.

Does thinking like this frighten anyone else? Last May to this May...an entire year, and what have I done? Who have I seen? Have I done anything significant? Have I done anything to better my condition or the condition of the world around me? It is all a blur. I recall specific vignettes from my time at HSU, but the past five years are really all a blur, a congealed mass of time. I mean, think about it, five years ago I was worried about saying goodbye to my high school friends and whether or not we would maintain our close ties. Five years have passed...five years of classes (only a few of which I truly remember, but I am sure I sat in all of them), professors, friends come and gone, different dorm rooms--Behrens and Ferguson, different boyfriends, different parties and dances, different phone numbers and addresses, various roommates-- apartments and duplexes, different cars, different hair cuts and popular bands, many extra-curricular activities-- from intramurals to SING to pledging to NSO. Looking back, worries that I had as a freshman seem so insignificant now. Things that kept me awake at night no longer matter. The phrase-- "This too shall pass"--is true, even though it never feels like it at the time. Retrospect is a funny thing. Years of your life can be summed up in a handful of memories. The exam I studied for for the past two days will not matter this time next year, and I will not remember how chaotic the preparation was, and I will most likely not even recall the information on the exam. I can hear the voice of my roommate on the phone right now, but in a few years I won't remember the details of what our apartment looked like, and the timbre of her voice will fall completely out of my memory. There are many examples here, but I find the concept fascinating. Is this what life is? A metaphorical jar filled with memorable moments scrawled on tiny slips of paper? Do the everyday things just fall to the wayside? When I am 50 I may not recall some of my favorite memories--the feeling of a my ex-boyfriend's face, cleanly shaven, brushing against mine; the feeling of my baby brother's arms wrapped around my neck before I leave my parents house; the sound of Rachel or Cara's laugh as we drive around town together. All we have is the present--here and now. We have to savor all the moments we feel like we could live in forever, because they will not be there forever. Live in the moment. Fill your life with snapshots of poignant times spent with people you care about. Truly fill your days with meaning. Move past the insignificant, the petty. Let your senses do all of the work...when you are in a moment you never want to step out of, close your eyes and remember....remember.