Rod Stewart, the 1970's, and the Alamo...

Hello friends. Gosh, it has been awhile. I meant to catch up on my "blogging" Saturday night, but I ended up making several CD's on Kris' iBook. Good music comes before all else. Well, not really, but it certainly comes before my blog.

This weekend was insane, but incredible! Thursday I drove into Dallas and met up with Kris, Kim, and Tim. We went to On the Border for dinner, which was awesome! While sitting there, a woman came up to our table and asked if we were college students. I said yes, that I go to a small Baptist university in Abilene. She told us that during dinner, God really laid it on her heart to give us money. She gave us $20 and told us to pray for her son that is in Germany, getting ready to leave for Iraq, and then she left. We were all floored, and later that money went to buying a group of poor college kids (us) a late night waffle at Waffle House.

Friday morning we left early to drive to San Antonio for Marjorie's concert. We got there around lunch time and she came and gave us a key to the house we were staying in for the night. The house was enormous and though the owners and their kids were gone at the time, it felt like we were jumping into a family that we didn't know. It was a strange experience, but the family was extremely hospitable and nice, and we were thankful for a place to stay-- even if we were only there for a total of four hours. Friday afternoon we ate at California Pizza Kitchen (mmm...) and then Kim and Kris wanted to go to a cigar store. We stayed there for a while, playing checkers and chess, and giving off the "give us your charity" vibe. I say that because when I walked in a guy, probably in his early forties, asked if I could help him out. I said sure. He had two cigarette cases up on the counter and asked which one I liked more. He showed me each of their "functions" and I picked one out. I said hey, if I smoked I would like it. Anyway, I told him I would grab my friend so he could have a second opinion. I lured Kim out of the humidor room and she came over and said which one she liked (the same one I had picked). He said thank you and asked if we smoked cigars. Kim said she did, I said no, not really. He then said to Kim, let me give you a cigar for your help. Little did we know he was some rich guy with his own lockers in the humidor room chock-full of fancy, limited edition, rare, expensive cigars. This guy even had a box of cubans in there. When all was said and done, Kim had two super-expensive (around $30 a piece) cigars, Kris had what he had brought in with him, and I had a Dr. Pepper. I wish we had been in a Mercedes store and some guy had needed my help. He would have said do you like C230's and I would have said yes and he would have said let me give you a Kompressor for your help and I would have said score! I really think we were giving off a "give us something for nothing" vibe. I wish we could have kept the vibe up, but I guess we have to pass it on to others; we shouldn't be selfish.

Friday night was the concert, which was incredible! Marjorie blows me away! I remember my freshman year when she first got a keyboard. She had no training and didn't know how to play. Now she writes her own music, sings, plays the piano...I even think she's picked up the bass guitar; that is what I call awesome! Her new CD, "The Real Living God", is more edgy than her previous album, and I have really enjoyed listening to it. After the concert we all went out to eat-- all being the members of her band, Lydia, Kim, Kris, and me. Then we proceeded downtown to a club called Pollyesters. This dance club has several different levels with different decades of music. We made our way to the top floor which was hits from the 70's and 80's and we danced the night away to music like "Love Shack" and "YMCA"-- good times. Marjorie and I headed for the bar to order two spiced rum and cokes, and upon approaching the bar I noticed the bartender. Grabbing Marj's hand I said, "Hey, that guy looks like Rod Stewart!" It was uncanny; the bartender was a dead-ringer for Rod Stewart! I will post a photo when I have access to a scanner. Yes, that's right. Marj and I had our photo taken with him; his name is Victor. Anyway, Kris and Kim left early and headed back to the house thirty minutes away. Around 3:30, as we were leaving the club, we were crossing over one of the bridges at the river walk when Lydia realized Kim had her keys; we were stranded in downtown San Antonio at almost 4am. In the time that passed before Kim and Kris made their way back, we were offered cocaine, or "coke" as he called it, and we randomly stumbled upon the Alamo. That was incredibly surreal. There we are, walking around aimlessly, somewhat delusional and extremely tired, when I look up and see the Alamo. All I can think of is that this is the place where a war was fought, where many men died. A place I link to seventh grade Texas History and cannons and Davy Crockett. Now, in 2004, several twenty-somethings after leaving a dance club just happen to walk right up to it after dancing to "Girls Just Want To Have Fun". Strange, isn't it? I am sure Colonel William Barret Travis would be so disappointed to see this landmark smack-dab in the middle of traffic and graffiti and people who forget to "remember" it-- like me.

We got back to the house around 4 am and left to head back to Dallas at 8am; that was a blast. No, not really. Poor Kris was so tired; he got the least amount of sleep out of all of us this weekend. I kept him up playing DJ on the iPod-- I wish that could be my real job. Saturday I just hung out and finished my Christmas shopping. I headed back to town yesterday after picking my friend Keren up from the airport. It is nice to be home.

I am sorry this blog is so long; it was a jam-packed weekend. Anyway, Kris...I will get my list posted soon. To everyone else, I hope you are having a healthy and happy break. I will post again in the near future. Take care.

The rarity of falling stars...

Hello friends. I hope that all of you are enjoying your time at home with your family, eating good food and sleeping in. Things here are good, my schedule is uneventful, but this is a welcome change. Today consisted of getting up, eating lunch and watching television, working out, attentively watching the verdict of the Scott Peterson trial, and eating dinner with several friends that I have not seen in a while. My new roommate is moving in this week, so she has been in and out with her stuff. The past few days have been surreal; I half expect opening Kim and Danielle's door to see their things taking up space, but when I open the door there is just a big empty space on the other side of it. I miss seeing their stuff; Kim's art and Danielle's photos of her and Wayne scattered everywhere. Oh well, time moves on and I am so excited to hear about their new beginnings in different places. The awesome thing is, now I have friends to visit in places more exciting than Abilene. Danielle is now living in Florida, and that means vacations at the beach! In a few months, Kim is moving to New York, and that means vacations in the Big Apple! I really can't lose. I just have to figure out how to fund these vacations. Any ideas?

If it is dark where you are, look out the window. Yes, right now. You may see incredible meteors falling to the ground. As I was driving to my apartment tonight, I saw one bright meteor streak across the sky; it was so beautiful. This is the Geminid meteor shower and tonight is supposedly the peak night to watch. Seeing this meteor reminded me of a poem I wrote my junior year that was published in the 2003 Corral. I thought I would go ahead and post it below, because the experience I wrote about in the poem is such a wonderful memory for me that I spent with my junior-year roommates, Emily and Kimberly.

I hope that wherever you are you are warm and enjoying this time away from the mucky-muck. Have a wonderful night. Sneak out of the house in your pajamas, bundle up, and watch the stars fall. Think about how many beautiful things happen while we are tucked away in our beds sleeping.

The Rarity of Falling Stars

The weatherman speaks of the rarity
of stars falling from the sky,
silver streaks on a black ceiling
appearing and disappearing.

Hours before sunrise, miles from the lights
of the city, we stand in an open field
circling in place to see them
fall, trailing their brightness.

We drive home over gravel roads
treading fallen stars underfoot,
the pink hue of the sky marking the end of
a night I will not live to see again.

What if all things this beautiful,
this marvelous, happen while we sleep?

Without you here there is less to say...

Remember earlier when I wrote about having plans to post photos and lyrics to a song? Well, thanks to peer pressure I posted photos earlier, and now...though still apathetic...I cannot go to sleep. Therefore, instead of just looking at my computer screen, I will post the lyrics to the aforementioned song. I am also doing this for symmetrical purposes. I cannot do just one of the things I said I wouldn't get to and not do the other. I should have balance somewhere in my life.

"I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" by Colin Hay

I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
I'm no longer moved to drink strong whisky
'Cause I shook the hand of time and I knew
That if I lived till I could no longer climb my stairs
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter's still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years
But I don't want you thinking I don't get asked to dinner
'Cause I'm here to say that I sometimes do
Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don't think I'll ever get over you
If I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you.

Did someone say photographs?

Okay, due to a request and the fact that I don't think I will have a scanner over Christmas break, I am going to go ahead and post photos from the Thanksgiving holiday. I don't want to get too far behind in posting photographs because I am sure I will have a lot after Christmas and the trip to Colorado. So, here they are, a quick glimpse into my life:

This is my family and me at my Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. You can tell by the look in my eyes that all I really want to do is to sneak out of the picture and go steal a piece of pumpkin pie from the kitchen.



My brothers, Miles and Mason, and me. I know, none of us look alike, but I swear we are from the same family. That, or our parents are keeping some mighty big secrets. Hey, wait a minute.



Miles and me. We decided that in order to maintain a "hardcore" status, one must never smile in photographs. We made a pact that we will never smile in pictures again. No, not really.



This is a photograph of my Grandmother, my cousin Jordan, my brothers and me. This is the formation we usually sit in to watch the big football game after a nice Thanksgiving dinner. We sit like this while we watch so that if at any time someone takes a picture of us, we will always be prepared...or at least look prepared.



My Dad and me. Isn't he the cutest Dad in the world? I bought the hat that he has on while I was in Paris. For the first few months he refused to wear it because he didn't want people to think he supports the French. Yep, that's my Dad! Gotta love him!



Who could forget this part of my family? Dakota told me not to smile in this picture. She likes to pose vogue for all of her photo shoots. My dog is such a diva!



And here are my two roommates, Danielle and Kim, the night we let loose on a kareoke machine. Watch out, when we get together we're crazy. When we get together with a kareoke machine we're...well...just plain crazy!

You are so beautiful and I am a fool to be in love with you...

...You know the days I am talking about. You got to sleep in so you wake up feeling good. You take a nice, long shower. You use a clean towel that still smells like detergent. Eat lunch while watching your favorite television show. Grab a cold Diet Coke out of the refrigerator. Get ready for the day. You look okay. Your hair isn't doing anything weird and you are wearing your favorite shirt. You feel good, but then boom! The boom is not you getting run over by a bus or hit over the head, it just seems like your mind has hit a impenetrable wall. You're in a funk. All of this to say that today, I am in a funk. I am not sure why. I had plans, big plans. Plans to post photos on my blog from Thanksgiving and lyrics to a song I have been listening to recently, but I am feeling totally apathetic. Maybe it's because tonight is my last meal with my roommates. Maybe it's because I have all of these unresolved emotions towards people in my life that I don't know what to do with. Maybe it's because I stayed up reading C.S. Lewis' The Four Loves when I should have been sleeping. Maybe it's because the premise of that book has had me questioning certain things in my life all day. Maybe I woke up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed, even though I always sleep and get out of bed on the same side and I wasn't in this funk yesterday. All of these are definite possibilities. Do you ever just get in a funk? Sure you do.

So, since classes were over except for finals this week I have been reading everything I can get my hands on because I actually have time to read what I want. This week I have read collections of Billy Collins' poetry, as well as some C.S. Lewis. It is so nice to be able to sit down without having to read a certain amount. That is the travesty of English classes. I am a Literature grad student obviously because I love literature, so the teachers take that love for granted and they say, "You love reading so much we are going to make you read hundreds of pages a night of crappy books like The Autobiography of Henry Adams, but that's okay, right? You like to read." See, they take our love for granted. I actually made the statement earlier in the semester after reading a bunch of crappy novels that I hate to read. I cannot believe I said that. I really love reading, but why can't we read what we want and report on that. I am sick of teacher's thinking I will enjoy books like The Writings of Benjamin Franklin. They could not be further off. I don't think they have ever heard of modern literature, or God forbid post-modern literature.

Anyway, I will probably not post anything this weekend, seeing as how it is going to be absolutely crazy-busy. I guess I have nothing more to add today. There don't seem to be any words coming to mind, just emotions and they are hard to convey through typing on a screen. Language is limited in that way I suppose. I will, however, post a poem by Billy Collins. Here you go:

"Nightclub" by Billy Collins

You are so beautiful and I am a fool
to be in love with you
is a theme that keeps coming up
in songs and poems.
There seems to be no room for variation.
I have never heard anyone sing
I am so beautiful
and you are a fool to be in love with me,
even though this notion has surely
crossed the minds of women and men alike.
You are so beautiful, too bad you are a fool
is another one you don't hear.
Or, you are a fool to consider me beautiful.
That one you will never hear, guaranteed.

For no particular reason this afternoon
I am listening to Johnny Hartman
whose dark voice can curl around
the concepts on love, beauty, and foolishness
like no one else's can.
It feels like smoke curling up from a cigarette
someone left burning on a baby grand piano
around three o'clock in the morning;
smoke that billows up into the bright lights
while out there in the darkness
some of the beautiful fools have gathered
around little tables to listen,
some with their eyes closed,
others leaning forward into the music
as if it were holding them up,
or twirling the loose ice in a glass,
slipping by degrees into a rhythmic dream.

Yes, there is all this foolish beauty,
borne beyond midnight,
that has no desire to go home,
especially now when everyone in the room
is watching the large man with the tenor sax
that hangs from his neck like a golden fish.
He moves forward to the edge of the stage
and hands the instrument down to me
and nods that I should play.
So I put the mouthpiece to my lips
and blow into it with all my living breath.
We are all so foolish,
my long bebop solo begins by saying,
so damn foolish
we have become beautiful without even knowing it.

Could have been your statue, could have been your friend...

It's finals week: 0 down, 3 to go. This year is different than all of my undergrad years because during that time I usually had classes that were horribly challenging, seeing as how I am extremely left-brained, such as Biology or Geology. Those finals always tripped me up, but now it's just a lot of literature finals, which are right up my alley, so I am not too terribly worried.

This past weekend was awesome! We had Kim and Danielle's going away party, featuring kareoke, daiquiris, and desserts. I was excited about the group of girls that showed up: Sarah, Cara, Jeannie, Rachel, Ashley, Shannon, Ashleigh, and later Carrie and Marissa. We had a blast laughing and singing and dancing around. I put up a Christmas tree, so of course we had to take pictures beside it. Hopefully I will get some of those posted soon. Good times!

This week is kind of crazy with studying and random parties and getting ready for a big weekend. Tomorrow night is Rachel's birthday party, which should be a lot of fun. She will be excited when she realizes it is a candles and coffee party. Just the other night at her parents house she was saying how she wants to buy candles but needs to save money since Christmas is coming up. Little does she know that she will be receiving many candles tomorrow! She is also a crazy coffee drinker, so I guess this party will feed the addiction. Thursday night is "roommate" night. I think the girls and I are going to go eat dinner somewhere and then hang out together. I cannot believe they are leaving in a few days-- for good. Okay, this is me not thinking about it and moving on. Then, on Friday, Cara, Rachel, Tighe and I are going to see a movie and out for dinner. I am very excited about hanging out with these girls because they are terrific and I have such a wonderful time with them. Saturday is graduation. Kim, Danielle and my mother are graduating, so it's a big day! (Sidenote: I am so proud of my incredible mother. Three kids and a husband to take care of, a house to clean, a 40 hour a week job, and graduating with a 3.9! You go Debbie Mac!) Saturday is also the day Kim and Danielle are moving out. I am a little stressed about having to cram everything in that one day: Graduation, lunch with the family, saying goodbye to the roommates, helping them move everything out of the apartment, saying goodbye to a few other friends that are leaving on Sunday, and hanging out with friends that are in town for the weekend. Craziness. I know I will wake up to a peace on Sunday morning, but I am not sure if I will see it as a peace or an emptiness. I will get back to you.

Anyway, I think that's about all that's going on. I guess I will sign off with the lyrics to a song I have had stuck in my head all day. Have a great week and good luck on finals.

"One of These Things First" by Nick Drake

I could have been a sailor, could have been a cook
A real live lover, could have been a book.
I could have been a signpost, could have been a clock
As simple as a kettle, steady as a rock.
I could be
Here and now
I would be, I should be
But how?
I could have been
One of these things first
I could have been
One of these things first.
I could have been your pillar, could have been your door
I could have stayed beside you, could have stayed for more.
Could have been your statue, could have been your friend
A whole long lifetime could have been the end.
I could be yours so true
I would be, I should be through and through
I could have been
One of these things first
I could have been
One of these things first.
I could have been a whistle, could have been a flute
A real live giver, could have been a boot.
I could have been a signpost, could have been a clock
As simple as a kettle, steady as a rock.
I could be even here
I would be, I should be so near
I could have been
One of these things first
I could have been
One of these things first.

But I want, want, want to be your love...

Okay, so quick sidenote. I finished The Liars' Club: A Memoir by Mary Karr and I cannot really express my sadness in turning the last page and realizing it is over. If you haven't read it, you should. It is heartbreaking and hilarious, brilliant and poignant, sassy and sharp...I could go on and on. The only consolation I have is that she wrote a sequel entitled Cherry: A Memoir which I have asked for for Christmas. I am sure I will devour it in a day and I then I will just sit and cry because she hasn't written anything else.

This past weekend, after Thanksgiving, Grant came in town to visit. I was so very glad to see him on my doorstep, just like old times. When we got back together it seemed just like no time had passed since this summer, only it was freezing cold. He came in on Saturday afternoon and we spent the afternoon eating good food at Texas Roadhouse and doing some serious geocaching, which I miss desperately since he moved out. Saturday night we ate dinner at Rosa's and rented Cold Mountain, which we thoroughly enjoyed. He made my favorite drink, BBC's, and since I hadn't had one in months I loved it that much more. It was wonderful just to sit and talk with him, catching up on his life, and planning our snowboarding trip this January. Sunday morning we got up and went to Jack n' Jill's for coffee and doughnuts and then got ready for my mom's birthday lunch at Abuelo's. At lunch, Grant sat next to my Uncle David and they talked about "guy stuff" the entire time, so I was kind of out of the loop, however my ears perked up when they started talking about shotguns because I am going target shooting with David over Christmas and I am excited about that! After lunch, Grant and I made a stop by the Ford dealership because we wanted to check out the beauty that is the new Mustang. Oh my goodness. I don't typically like American made cars, but the 2005 model has the body style of the 1969ish model, so it is absolutely fabulous. We stood out in the cold circling the car until I couldn't take the teeth-chattering anymore and we went back to the apartment. I miss that guy, and I am so excited about spending a week with him this winter! Hmm...maybe I should include a photo of the new Mustang. I am bored at work, so I think I will. The new Mustang GT is truly incredible!





Okay, on to the bigger and better. I turned in my final research paper today and now all I have is finals and I am finished for the semester. Finals will not be a big deal, so basically it's just graduation parties and dinner parties and Christmas parties and birthday parties...a lot of parties. That also means a lot of presents. Maybe I should get started on that. Tonight I need to do some shopping for decorations since we are having a graduation party for Kim and Danielle tomorrow night. I cannot believe they are leaving; it's kind of surreal. I walked in their room last night, covered from wall to wall in boxes and my heart just sank. I know I am going to miss them so much. No two girls make me laugh like those girls, and they are two of my very best friends. It reminds me of the lyrics to a Caedmon's Call song, "So you're gone, but I know you're not so far away. You're a call on the phone or a ride in a plane, but that just isn't the same." It isn't the same. I will never live with two of my best friends again, but what a blessing that I even had the opportunity to live with them for so long. God is good and He has provided me with such a terrific group of friends to lean on that provide me with support and love, but still...Kimberly and Danielle will be missed.

Now, on the music scene...you simply must check out Rachael Yamagata's album 'Happenstance'. I have been listening to it quite a bit recently, and I love her. Her song 'Worn Me Down' was on the O.C. last week, so you know she's up and coming. My favorite song is called 'Be, Be Your Love'. I am going to post the lyrics. Okay, I need to go read now. I hope you all have a terrific weekend!

P.S. Remember to pray for the troops. I talked to my friend Mike today and it was a reminder that it is easy to forget as we sit in school and hang out with our friends that the troops are in Iraq fighting a war, a very real war. Sometimes I just need a reality check, because it is so easy to get wrapped up in the chaos of everyday life and forget the people risking their lives for our country.

"Be Be Your Love"

If I could take you away
Pretend I was queen
What would you say
Would you think I'm unreal
'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel

Everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real
Want to be your everything

Everything...

Everything's falling, and I am included in that
Oh, how I try to be just okay
Yeah, but all I ever really wanted
Was a little piece of you

And everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

Everything will be alright
If you just stay the night
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away

And everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

And everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love, for real
Everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love
But I want, want, want to be your love
Want to be your love for real

I want to be your love, love, love