"Cry on Demand"-- Ryan Adams
So, it's how the story goes.
And we come to the scene where I'm holding you close.
She moves, moves like a thin dulling blade.
Cuts, all the words that I said.
The only difference is...
The only difference is...
The truth -- The truth is I miss you.
Cry on demand.
How'd you learn to?
Cry on demand.
Teach me if you want to.
Though you don't have to.
I just close my eyes and think of you.
Real. Real like a plastic bouquet.
That thrives on the smoke from an old fireplace.
And dies every night with her face on the news.
Nobody cries, they just smoke and stare at their shoes.
The only difference is...
The only difference is...
Nobody can cry -- It's hard to do.
For most folks, without a reason why.
Cry on demand.
How'd you learn to?
Cry on demand.
Why would you want to?
Just close your eyes and think of me.
I take back everything I said.
She can't hurt me, and I can't hurt you.
It's like we're already dead.
Cry on demand.
Why would you want to?
Cry on demand.
Teach me if you want to.
Though you don't have to.
I just close my eyes and think of you....
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Unfinished business...
who says business?! (that's for you...you know who you are.)
So, I figure I should catch up on a few things since I am home earlier than usual and I am trying to tie up loose ends before school begins on Monday...eww.
Two posts ago I said I would discuss three things:
1. Moving and the fiascos that went along with that (imagine me driving a U-haul).
2. The cutting of Peets' fabulous hair.
3. Ashley and Melia Road Trip 2005
...and I will do so, as briefly as possible.
1. So, I moved. It was not fun. I think I picked the most humid and hot day ever in the history of Texas. I have a lot of crap that I don't need and I am working hard to minimalize and simplify. I rented and drove a U-haul. It was ridiculous. I am so tired of unpacking that I have contemplated just throwing the remaining unopened boxes in the dumpster. I don't care to see what's in them...I just don't want to deal with whatever it is. I look around...I have all of my books. I have my DVD's. I have my computer. I can't really think of anything that could be in those boxes that I just cannot live without. I have this fear though that come winter time I would be in dire need of mittens and they would be nowhere to be found. I would later pass a guy on the corner with red mittens just like mine. Then I would know what was up. I am now more motivated to unpack them than ever.
2. Yes, Eric Peets has cut his hair and it's fabulous. I haven't seen him looking like that since...maybe photos that I have of he and Angela...so a long time ago. Sports Clips was great; they cut his hair for free since he had grown it out to donate it to Locks of Love. At one point, the lady cutting it had taken most of the length off except for in the back and for a glorious but brief second Eric had a mullet. I wanted to slip the lady some money and be like, "Please, please leave it like that. Put the scissors down." It would have been awesome! There were cameras, reporters, etc. I can't imagine having 20 people coming to see you get your hair cut, but he handled it like a champ. Angela would have been so proud. I know I was.
3. Ashley and Melia Road Trip 2005 was a full success. We drove into Ft. Worth Friday evening, ate dinner at Texas Roadhouse, and then went to Katy's house where we sat on her back porch for hours catching up; it was wonderful. On Saturday we hit Deep Ellum to take some photos, and on Saturday evening we went to Pete's Dueling Piano Bar which was very exciting! It was so great to be with Ashley, Grant, and Katy; I never wanted the road trip to end. It was a relaxed and fun-filled weekend...two qualities I believe every weekend should have.
A photo to commemorate the event:
Okay, so I have written about everything I promised I would. I hate not following through when I say I will. There you have it; the three doses of trivial information you never needed to know.
This weekend has been great. Last night Ashley and I bid Alicia farewell; she is moving to Denton this weekend. We had a lot of fun, and as always, it was good to see Cat and Alicia. Today has been interesting. This morning/afternoon I worked on unpacking the hoard of superfluous boxes that remain on the floor of my bedroom. While unpacking I watched The Other Sister. I realize that movie came out in 1999, but I had never seen it in its entirety and...I cried. It was ridiculous and I am glad no one was around to see it. I tell you...pure sap.
Later in the afternoon I went to see The 40 Year Old Virgin, which was spectacular. At several points during the movie, I realized that Eric and I were the only ones laughing, and afterwards I told Eric that I am pretty sure the people around us were thinking...perverts. Oh well, it's really really funny and Paul Rudd is in it...that is reason enough for me to love it. I love him.
After the movie Eric and I went to Hastings to rent Sin City. I must add that the highlight of my day was walking past the "bargain book" shelf at Hastings and seeing an incredible selection of books. I didn't know what to do. I got all excited and started picking ones up that I wanted. The stack began to grow and I had to rationalize with myself. Okay Melia, you probably have 15 books at home that you have never read but intend to read sometime in the future. These will just add to that list. I knew I couldn't get all of them, so I just stuck with a "safe" pick...one I already know I will enjoy because I read a few chapters of it a while back. I got The Lovely Bones by Alice Seabold for $2.99. I felt like I was stealing it! (I am a huge nerd.)
Okay, so back to renting Sin City...I wasn't sure that I could deal with three movies in one day, but I am here to tell you that I survived. I think Eric's burgers helped me through it...delicious. Before I saw Sin City I was like, whoa....that's an incredible cast! Now I am just like, yeah...they had to have an incredible cast to get anyone to sit through it. Don't get me wrong...for the first hour/hour-and-a-half I was interested in the storyline. I enjoyed the black-and-white with splashes of color. I was like, whoo...artsy! But then, about a decade into it, I was like...if there were not beautiful people on the screen I would turn this off. Jason Casselberry, I would appreciate your feedback on this film. Anyway, I am convinced that the director strategically placed Clive Owen towards the end of the movie. The director knew once my attention left the only thing that would keep me in front of my television was Clive and his fabulous accent. Oh director man...you were so right.
So, after three movies, good company, and a good burger I am back at home. I think I am going to go climb in bed with a glass of wine and The Lovely Bones. Excitement!
Goodnight everyone. Smile...Bobby and Whitney do.
So, I figure I should catch up on a few things since I am home earlier than usual and I am trying to tie up loose ends before school begins on Monday...eww.
Two posts ago I said I would discuss three things:
1. Moving and the fiascos that went along with that (imagine me driving a U-haul).
2. The cutting of Peets' fabulous hair.
3. Ashley and Melia Road Trip 2005
...and I will do so, as briefly as possible.
1. So, I moved. It was not fun. I think I picked the most humid and hot day ever in the history of Texas. I have a lot of crap that I don't need and I am working hard to minimalize and simplify. I rented and drove a U-haul. It was ridiculous. I am so tired of unpacking that I have contemplated just throwing the remaining unopened boxes in the dumpster. I don't care to see what's in them...I just don't want to deal with whatever it is. I look around...I have all of my books. I have my DVD's. I have my computer. I can't really think of anything that could be in those boxes that I just cannot live without. I have this fear though that come winter time I would be in dire need of mittens and they would be nowhere to be found. I would later pass a guy on the corner with red mittens just like mine. Then I would know what was up. I am now more motivated to unpack them than ever.
2. Yes, Eric Peets has cut his hair and it's fabulous. I haven't seen him looking like that since...maybe photos that I have of he and Angela...so a long time ago. Sports Clips was great; they cut his hair for free since he had grown it out to donate it to Locks of Love. At one point, the lady cutting it had taken most of the length off except for in the back and for a glorious but brief second Eric had a mullet. I wanted to slip the lady some money and be like, "Please, please leave it like that. Put the scissors down." It would have been awesome! There were cameras, reporters, etc. I can't imagine having 20 people coming to see you get your hair cut, but he handled it like a champ. Angela would have been so proud. I know I was.
3. Ashley and Melia Road Trip 2005 was a full success. We drove into Ft. Worth Friday evening, ate dinner at Texas Roadhouse, and then went to Katy's house where we sat on her back porch for hours catching up; it was wonderful. On Saturday we hit Deep Ellum to take some photos, and on Saturday evening we went to Pete's Dueling Piano Bar which was very exciting! It was so great to be with Ashley, Grant, and Katy; I never wanted the road trip to end. It was a relaxed and fun-filled weekend...two qualities I believe every weekend should have.
A photo to commemorate the event:
Okay, so I have written about everything I promised I would. I hate not following through when I say I will. There you have it; the three doses of trivial information you never needed to know.
This weekend has been great. Last night Ashley and I bid Alicia farewell; she is moving to Denton this weekend. We had a lot of fun, and as always, it was good to see Cat and Alicia. Today has been interesting. This morning/afternoon I worked on unpacking the hoard of superfluous boxes that remain on the floor of my bedroom. While unpacking I watched The Other Sister. I realize that movie came out in 1999, but I had never seen it in its entirety and...I cried. It was ridiculous and I am glad no one was around to see it. I tell you...pure sap.
Later in the afternoon I went to see The 40 Year Old Virgin, which was spectacular. At several points during the movie, I realized that Eric and I were the only ones laughing, and afterwards I told Eric that I am pretty sure the people around us were thinking...perverts. Oh well, it's really really funny and Paul Rudd is in it...that is reason enough for me to love it. I love him.
After the movie Eric and I went to Hastings to rent Sin City. I must add that the highlight of my day was walking past the "bargain book" shelf at Hastings and seeing an incredible selection of books. I didn't know what to do. I got all excited and started picking ones up that I wanted. The stack began to grow and I had to rationalize with myself. Okay Melia, you probably have 15 books at home that you have never read but intend to read sometime in the future. These will just add to that list. I knew I couldn't get all of them, so I just stuck with a "safe" pick...one I already know I will enjoy because I read a few chapters of it a while back. I got The Lovely Bones by Alice Seabold for $2.99. I felt like I was stealing it! (I am a huge nerd.)
Okay, so back to renting Sin City...I wasn't sure that I could deal with three movies in one day, but I am here to tell you that I survived. I think Eric's burgers helped me through it...delicious. Before I saw Sin City I was like, whoa....that's an incredible cast! Now I am just like, yeah...they had to have an incredible cast to get anyone to sit through it. Don't get me wrong...for the first hour/hour-and-a-half I was interested in the storyline. I enjoyed the black-and-white with splashes of color. I was like, whoo...artsy! But then, about a decade into it, I was like...if there were not beautiful people on the screen I would turn this off. Jason Casselberry, I would appreciate your feedback on this film. Anyway, I am convinced that the director strategically placed Clive Owen towards the end of the movie. The director knew once my attention left the only thing that would keep me in front of my television was Clive and his fabulous accent. Oh director man...you were so right.
So, after three movies, good company, and a good burger I am back at home. I think I am going to go climb in bed with a glass of wine and The Lovely Bones. Excitement!
Goodnight everyone. Smile...Bobby and Whitney do.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Because of insomnia...
I was up reading and stumbled upon this.
It is an interesting idea, really. It comes straight from Plato's Symposium:
"People were hermaphrodites until God split them in two. Now all the halves wander the world over seeking one another. Love is the longing for the half of ourselves that we have lost."
And it goes on to say...
"And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and will not be out of the other's sight, as I may say, even for a moment. These are the people who pass their whole lives together; yet they could not explain what they desire of one another. For the intense yearning which each of them has towards the other does not appear to be the desire of lover's intercourse, but of something else which the soul of either evidently desires and cannot tell ...."
I love that. Good work Plato.
It is an interesting idea, really. It comes straight from Plato's Symposium:
"People were hermaphrodites until God split them in two. Now all the halves wander the world over seeking one another. Love is the longing for the half of ourselves that we have lost."
And it goes on to say...
"And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and will not be out of the other's sight, as I may say, even for a moment. These are the people who pass their whole lives together; yet they could not explain what they desire of one another. For the intense yearning which each of them has towards the other does not appear to be the desire of lover's intercourse, but of something else which the soul of either evidently desires and cannot tell ...."
I love that. Good work Plato.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Oh Blogspot, how I have missed you...
kind of...not really.
I feel like I have neglected my blog, but I have neglected quite a few things recently due to the end-of-summer insanity.
Right now I have to run a few errands and make one last trip to the old apartment to tie up some loose ends, but I swear...I will blog soon!
In the upcoming blog you will learn about pointless and/or trivial things such as:
1. Moving and the fiascos that went along with that (imagine me driving a U-haul).
2. The cutting of Peets' fabulous hair.
3. Ashley and Melia Road Trip 2005
I know you are counting down the seconds until my next exciting post. Start with 2,365,867 and before you can get to 1...I will be back.
I feel like I have neglected my blog, but I have neglected quite a few things recently due to the end-of-summer insanity.
Right now I have to run a few errands and make one last trip to the old apartment to tie up some loose ends, but I swear...I will blog soon!
In the upcoming blog you will learn about pointless and/or trivial things such as:
1. Moving and the fiascos that went along with that (imagine me driving a U-haul).
2. The cutting of Peets' fabulous hair.
3. Ashley and Melia Road Trip 2005
I know you are counting down the seconds until my next exciting post. Start with 2,365,867 and before you can get to 1...I will be back.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Summer is drawing to a close...
and I already miss it.
It seems every time I come away from the weekend I am left thinking that was the best weekend ever! But, amazingly, the following weekend trumps the previous weekend. It's awesome!
This weekend was incredible! Friday and Saturday night Core 47 played at Rack Daddy's and both shows were terrific, as usual. Good drinks, good music, good friends. I can't think of a better way to spend those nights.
After going to bed at 3am on Saturday, Ashley and I woke up yesterday at 8am to drive, with Cliff, to Lake Whitney for the day. We met up with Grant at Laguna Park and piled in his truck to get ride the lake. It was such a perfect day. The water was calm. The sky was a little bit overcast, so it was not scorching hot. We had a blast tubing and just floating in the water talking and laughing. The conversation was insanely ridiculous at times, but several good inside jokes came out of it, which is always fun between friends. It was so good to see Grant. We have been so fortunate to see each other at least twice a month all summer. I am not sure that I could go much longer than that.
I feel that I need to post a list of thanks for the weekend:
Thank you Grant for the crazy supply of Nutter Butter's and cold beverages... and also for putting up with me in all forms for the past ten years, and always humoring my silly self. I love you.
Thank you Ashley for always making me laugh until my side hurts, for singing all the right songs, and for always being there for me-- whether in silence or chaos.
Thank you Clifford for making me shake my head more than anyone I have ever met, for consistently amazing me with your quick wit, and for participating in banter with me on a regular basis. We all love our "Tee Cake".
I look at my friends and I cannot express the immense gratitude I feel. I could go on. Gah, I am such a sap. I need to stop.
Okay, so I have been writing non-stop for about the past month or so. I have notebooks full of nonsense. It's a strange thing. Sometimes I will not write anything for months and then, all of the sudden, I will write for weeks straight. I had to make a deal with myself this week though, and it hurts me to have to bargain with myself...that's no fun. This is the way the battle went down:
M1: Melia, you need to work on your thesis. It's due in October, sister.
M2: But I am too busy writing. Plath can wait.
M1: Did you just hear yourself? Plath can what?! I don't even know you anymore. Time is running out and you don't want to turn in a shoddy thesis.
M2: I know...I know... You're always right.
M1: If you get the urge to write, just make sure your focus is the thesis. Turn all of your attention to that until you have the 70 pages.
M2: Well, what if I have an idea for something and it comes to me and I have to write it down?
M1: It must deal with religious imagery and Sylvia Plath.
M2: But...I....
M1: No...
And it went on and on like that and the conversation is pretty much constant in my head when I get the urge to write. My thesis is due in October and I only have about 30 pages. I guess that's progress, but not what I wanted to have by August. Oh, well...
I have quite a few large things to do in the near future: (not necessarily in order)
1. Move out.
2. Purchase my Powerbook and accesories.
3. Finish thesis.
4. Be off book.
All exciting. All nerveracking. All are coming up. Stupid summer...why do you have to be almost over?!
It seems every time I come away from the weekend I am left thinking that was the best weekend ever! But, amazingly, the following weekend trumps the previous weekend. It's awesome!
This weekend was incredible! Friday and Saturday night Core 47 played at Rack Daddy's and both shows were terrific, as usual. Good drinks, good music, good friends. I can't think of a better way to spend those nights.
After going to bed at 3am on Saturday, Ashley and I woke up yesterday at 8am to drive, with Cliff, to Lake Whitney for the day. We met up with Grant at Laguna Park and piled in his truck to get ride the lake. It was such a perfect day. The water was calm. The sky was a little bit overcast, so it was not scorching hot. We had a blast tubing and just floating in the water talking and laughing. The conversation was insanely ridiculous at times, but several good inside jokes came out of it, which is always fun between friends. It was so good to see Grant. We have been so fortunate to see each other at least twice a month all summer. I am not sure that I could go much longer than that.
I feel that I need to post a list of thanks for the weekend:
Thank you Grant for the crazy supply of Nutter Butter's and cold beverages... and also for putting up with me in all forms for the past ten years, and always humoring my silly self. I love you.
Thank you Ashley for always making me laugh until my side hurts, for singing all the right songs, and for always being there for me-- whether in silence or chaos.
Thank you Clifford for making me shake my head more than anyone I have ever met, for consistently amazing me with your quick wit, and for participating in banter with me on a regular basis. We all love our "Tee Cake".
I look at my friends and I cannot express the immense gratitude I feel. I could go on. Gah, I am such a sap. I need to stop.
Okay, so I have been writing non-stop for about the past month or so. I have notebooks full of nonsense. It's a strange thing. Sometimes I will not write anything for months and then, all of the sudden, I will write for weeks straight. I had to make a deal with myself this week though, and it hurts me to have to bargain with myself...that's no fun. This is the way the battle went down:
M1: Melia, you need to work on your thesis. It's due in October, sister.
M2: But I am too busy writing. Plath can wait.
M1: Did you just hear yourself? Plath can what?! I don't even know you anymore. Time is running out and you don't want to turn in a shoddy thesis.
M2: I know...I know... You're always right.
M1: If you get the urge to write, just make sure your focus is the thesis. Turn all of your attention to that until you have the 70 pages.
M2: Well, what if I have an idea for something and it comes to me and I have to write it down?
M1: It must deal with religious imagery and Sylvia Plath.
M2: But...I....
M1: No...
And it went on and on like that and the conversation is pretty much constant in my head when I get the urge to write. My thesis is due in October and I only have about 30 pages. I guess that's progress, but not what I wanted to have by August. Oh, well...
I have quite a few large things to do in the near future: (not necessarily in order)
1. Move out.
2. Purchase my Powerbook and accesories.
3. Finish thesis.
4. Be off book.
All exciting. All nerveracking. All are coming up. Stupid summer...why do you have to be almost over?!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Photo-rrific!
So, I haven't posted any photographs since my vacation in June. I figure it's about time.
Here are the kids I worked with this summer at Kids of the Kingdom. This is the best they behaved all summer. I do kind of miss them though....
Several of the crazy boys. I have no doubt that they were plotting an attack against the counselors.
Victoria and Olivia.
Gypsy Tea Room.
Ashley and me at the Rachael Yamagata concert. Yes, I realize I look high. I can assure you I was not.
Rachael at the Rachael Yamagata concert...awesome!
Awesomer!
Most awesomest! (Yes, you read that right...most awesomest.)
After the concert at the Velvet Hookah for Kim's going away party.
Kim and Kris hesitantly smile for the camera.
Hanging out at Grant's apartment:
Danielle and I were camera-happy.
Did you know I like the Rangers? I bet you didn't.
Amber and Nathan's wedding...good times way out in Mt.Pleasant-middle-of-nowhere.
Carrie and I were forced to take this photo by Amber's father. I think we look pretty happy, considering...
Here are the kids I worked with this summer at Kids of the Kingdom. This is the best they behaved all summer. I do kind of miss them though....
Several of the crazy boys. I have no doubt that they were plotting an attack against the counselors.
Victoria and Olivia.
Gypsy Tea Room.
Ashley and me at the Rachael Yamagata concert. Yes, I realize I look high. I can assure you I was not.
Rachael at the Rachael Yamagata concert...awesome!
Awesomer!
Most awesomest! (Yes, you read that right...most awesomest.)
After the concert at the Velvet Hookah for Kim's going away party.
Kim and Kris hesitantly smile for the camera.
Hanging out at Grant's apartment:
Danielle and I were camera-happy.
Did you know I like the Rangers? I bet you didn't.
Amber and Nathan's wedding...good times way out in Mt.Pleasant-middle-of-nowhere.
Carrie and I were forced to take this photo by Amber's father. I think we look pretty happy, considering...
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
I was white as alabaster...
There is a fine line
between light and sunshine
and you are the sunshine to me.
Yeah, you are a beacon,
never darken or weaken,
and I was blind but now I see that...
I was white as alabaster,
cold as alabaster, alabaster...
and I just kept running faster
but I couldn't capture
any good in this world.
Neither rhyme nor reason
could make sense of this season...
in the summer, in the dead of fall.
There are millions of good words,
but no word that I've heard
does you justice at all.
'Cause I was white as alabaster,
cold as alabaster, alabaster...
and I just kept running faster
but you just can't capture
all the good in this world.
But there is a fine line
between light and sunshine
and you are the sunshine to me.
between light and sunshine
and you are the sunshine to me.
Yeah, you are a beacon,
never darken or weaken,
and I was blind but now I see that...
I was white as alabaster,
cold as alabaster, alabaster...
and I just kept running faster
but I couldn't capture
any good in this world.
Neither rhyme nor reason
could make sense of this season...
in the summer, in the dead of fall.
There are millions of good words,
but no word that I've heard
does you justice at all.
'Cause I was white as alabaster,
cold as alabaster, alabaster...
and I just kept running faster
but you just can't capture
all the good in this world.
But there is a fine line
between light and sunshine
and you are the sunshine to me.
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