“Nothing gets past ol’ eagle eye…”

Somehow, this is how I am seen at work. I am known, at least to the individual quoted above, as a person with keen attention to detail. A person that observes closely. A person that lets nothing past them. But, in the lingering of this co-worker's words in my head I realized that, although this may be true in a purely professional sense, it is not currently applicable personally or creatively.

I feel that, sometimes, quite a lot gets by me. I have been feeling that way especially when it comes to any sort of creative outlet. I let events and snippets that spark a thought...that could be elaborated on...just pass by.

For me, looking at this blog is disappointing. Every once in a while I will hit the buttons on the side and suddenly I am transported, reading words from 2004, some of which I do not even remember writing. But, I look at the pages and pages of entries, where I found inspiration in the tiniest things, and I can look at myself now and it just feels like I am in a rut.

Is it that I have lost inspiration? No. Inspiration can be found in anything…from a late night conversation with a friend, to a song on the radio, to a current event, to a work meeting…which is what got my wheels spinning to begin with. Inspirational things are abundant, so what is it?

In looking at previous posts, most of them were during a time when I was in school and the majority of my jobs were work/study. Meaning that, after I loaded some 8.5 x 11 paper into the community printer, I was free to do whatever until I had to leave. So, I wrote. Now, I write for a living, sitting behind a computer from 8-5, so the last thing I want to do when I get home is write more. This attitude needs to change. The answer to the above question (“so what is it?” ) is simple: laziness and forgetfulness.

I have forgotten how much I enjoy writing. Finding humor and meaning in the little, seemingly insignificant things brings me happiness. Sharing a wonderful excerpt from someone else’s writing or lyrics from a song that has impacted me is exhilarating. And I think, for me, writing is what is missing right now. Granted, I have been writing, but it’s only been personal/for myself writing. The kind that comes slowly but surely. Bits and pieces coming together…like a jigsaw puzzle. Only right now, I barely have all of the edge pieces in a pile.

My imagination needs a jump start. Yes, I said that right. This is a need…not a want. A few weeks ago, upon visiting Hardin-Simmons, every professor I spoke with asked me the same question: Have you been writing? And other than some scrawlings here and there, on the backs of envelopes, on yellow sticky notes, on a legal pad in the bottom drawer of my desk, no…I haven’t. It’s sad because I feel so much better when I do. When I put something out there, even into this cyber no man’s land. So, here we go.